The Day I Thought I Was Spider-Man….

I woke up and got in the shower, but everything was “different”. It was early…..almost too early, but there was work to be done. I almost slipped in the shower, but somehow managed to catch myself moments before my face slammed into the ceramic tile. While I was toweling off, I noticed I was bigger and unusually spry.

I got back to my room and put in my contact lenses, but there was a problem—there must be something on the lens. I take out the contact to inspect for nanobots or other dirt particles clouding my vision. When I take out the contact, I could see…..perfectly. My vision was restored. I had no need for that flimsy piece of plastic over my eye. My powers were growing by the second……

Then I realized that I had put the contact lenses in an old case with another set. So in effect I had two contacts on my eyes to begin with, causing the blurry vision. When I removed one, my vision became clear again. So I don’t have super-human powers? Damn. That made me retrace my morning for evidence that I still was “powerful”…..

As it turns out, everything felt “different” because I was still hung over. It WAS early and I had to go to work. I did slip in the shower, but I didn’t catch myself—I have the bruises to prove it. I’m no bigger than I ever was, the mirror was just foggy. And I still have the same near-sighted vision.

For the love of god, I need to stop watching Heroes.