Rectum? Damn Near Killed Him.

Arguments began Monday in a federal lawsuit alleging that a Maryland doctor stapled a man's rectum shut during an operation, rendering him unable to move his bowels for 17 days, the Baltimore Examiner reported.

Ronald Watkins, 64, of West Virginia, has accused Dr. Manuel Casiano, a doctor in Frederick County, Maryland for botching a September 2004 surgery that left him with permanent bowel problems, according to the report.

But an attorney representing Casiano told jurors the doctor did not staple Watkins' buttocks shut.

Attorney Conrad Varner said Watkins’ bowels became “swollen shut” because of medical problems — not because of stapling and that his two-pack-a-day smoking habit added to his bowel problems, the Examiner reported.

Watkins' attorney, Julia Lodowski argued that the medical error was in fact caused by Casiano and has led Watkins to experience continual “rectal discharge," which requires him to wipe himself between 12 and 15 times a day.