Twisted Sister Now Willing To 'Take It'.

NEW YORK—In a stunning reversal of their long-stated reluctance to take it, members of heavy-metal band Twisted Sister announced Monday that, after 24 years of fervent refusal, they are now willing to 'take it'.

"I acknowledge that we promised not to take it anymore, but things change. The world is a different place today, and with that in mind, we would like to go on record as saying that, starting right now, we are going to take it," read a statement released by the band's lead singer, Dee Snyder. "To clarify, we would still prefer not to take it, but as of now, taking it is an option that we would be open to. That is all."

Bassist Mark "the Animal" Mendoza also stated that, in regards to what he wants to do with his life, he no longer solely wants to rock, but would instead prefer doing other things, such as raising a family and working as a claims adjuster in Rye, NY. -The Onion

Same Bat Time...

It wasn't just the caffeine that gave an Iowa woman an extra jolt after she had her morning coffee. It was also the bat she found in the filter.

The Iowa Department of Public Health says the woman reported a bat in her house but wasn't too worried about it. She turned on her automatic coffee maker before bedtime and drank her coffee the next morning.

She discovered the bat in the filter when she went to clean it that night. The woman has undergone treatment for possible rabies.

Health officials say that the bat was sent to a lab but that its brain was too cooked by the hot water to determine whether it had rabies.

Dewey vs. Moon

Blood, Sweat and Tears?

Doctors are struggling to explain why a young girl spontaneously bleeds through her pores without being cut or bruised, the Telegraph reported Tuesday.

Twinkle Dwivedi, 13, loses blood through her skin without explanation.

The teen, from India, has had to undergo numerous blood transfusions after losing blood from her eyes, nose, hairline, neck and the soles of her feet, according to the report.

Dwivedi's blood is watery and light in color, and doctors say attempts to thicken it have failed.

Doctors at the All India Institute of Medical Sciences in Delhi believe the teen may have a type 2 platelet disorder in which the blood is low in clotting particles.

Apply Directly To The Forehead!

British police have made public a stabbing victim’s skull X-ray as they search for two suspects wanted in a horrific bus stop assault last year.

The 15-year-old victim, who was not identified, was stabbed in the forehead last November after he and two other friends tried to stop a robbery at a south London bus stop, the U.K.’s Daily Mail reported. The boy’s friends were also stabbed.

The victim was rushed to the hospital with the kitchen knife still lodged in his head. Doctors said that the teen would have died if anyone tried to remove the knife themselves.

One of the three suspects, who dropped a hat and his cell phone while fleeing, was arrested a short time after the attack. He is to be sentenced next month. His cohorts are still on the loose.

The Great Gig In The Sky

Paul Newman, the legendary actor whose steely blue eyes, good-humored charm and advocacy of worthy causes made him one of the most renowned figures in American arts, has died of cancer at his home in Westport, Connecticut. He was 83.

He died Friday, according to spokeswoman Marni Tomljanovic.

Newman attained stardom in the 1950s and never lost the movie-star aura, appearing in such classic films as "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof," "Exodus," "The Hustler," "Cool Hand Luke," "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," "The Sting" and "The Verdict."

He finally won an Oscar in 1986 -- on his eighth try -- for "The Color of Money," a sequel to "The Hustler." He later received two more Oscar nominations. Among his other awards was the Motion Picture Academy's Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award.

“The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.” –Paul Newman

Super Boss

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band will perform at this year's Super Bowl halftime show in Tampa, Fla., the NFL and NBC announced Sunday night.

Continuing a run of major talent that has lately included the Rolling Stones, U2, Paul McCartney, Prince and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, the biggest television event in the nation will showcase one of its most beloved rock 'n' roll artists. The Super Bowl will be played Feb. 1 at Raymond James Stadium.

Mug Shot!

Heather Locklear was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of a controlled substance in the upscale Santa Barbara area, authorities said Sunday.

Locklear, 47, was pulled over by a California Highway Patrol officer Saturday afternoon after a resident reported seeing the actress leaving a parking lot and "driving erratically," patrol spokesman Tom Marshall said.

Cement Jesus

Rectum? Damn Near Killed Him.

Arguments began Monday in a federal lawsuit alleging that a Maryland doctor stapled a man's rectum shut during an operation, rendering him unable to move his bowels for 17 days, the Baltimore Examiner reported.

Ronald Watkins, 64, of West Virginia, has accused Dr. Manuel Casiano, a doctor in Frederick County, Maryland for botching a September 2004 surgery that left him with permanent bowel problems, according to the report.

But an attorney representing Casiano told jurors the doctor did not staple Watkins' buttocks shut.

Attorney Conrad Varner said Watkins’ bowels became “swollen shut” because of medical problems — not because of stapling and that his two-pack-a-day smoking habit added to his bowel problems, the Examiner reported.

Watkins' attorney, Julia Lodowski argued that the medical error was in fact caused by Casiano and has led Watkins to experience continual “rectal discharge," which requires him to wipe himself between 12 and 15 times a day.

Loss Of Service, Love And Affection

A Kentucky man who claims his penis was removed without his consent during what was supposed to be a circumcision has sued the doctor who performed the surgery.

Phillip Seaton, 61, and his wife are seeking unspecified compensation from Dr. John M. Patterson and the medical practice that performed the circumcision for "loss of service, love and affection." The Seatons also are seeking unspecified punitive damages from Patterson and the medical practice, Commonwealth Urology.

The Seaton's attorney said the doctor's post-surgical notes show the doctor thought he detected cancer and removed the penis. Attorney Kevin George said a later test did detect cancer.

"It was not an emergency," George told The Associated Press on Thursday. "It didn't have to happen that way."

The lawsuit filed earlier this month in state court claims Patterson removed Seaton's penis without consulting either Phillip or Deborah Seaton, or giving them an opportunity to seek a second opinion.

Alba-nians Unite!

Jessica Alba revealed her sexy bikini body while vacationing in Mexico this week — only three months after giving birth to baby Honor Marie.

Her trainer Ramona Braganza — who last month revealed that Alba, 27, had already lost 25 pounds — says the rapid results are the result of consistent workouts since Alba and husband Cash Warren welcomed Honor Marie on June 7.
"She worked out an hour a day, five or six days a week, and stayed on a strict diet of about 1,700 calories a day, losing 600 calories because of exercise," Braganza told People magazine.

Alba stuck to a low-fat, low-carb diet as part of Braganza's 12-week 321 Baby Bulge Be Gone plan.

Imposter!!!

I'm suing for copyright infringement...

http://fingertheblog.blogspot.com/

WTF?!?!?

J-E-T Jetman! Jetman! Jetman!

Swiss adventurer Yves Rossy successfully crossed the English Channel using his homemade jet-propelled wing Friday, the first man to perform the feat.

Rossy leapt from a plane more than 8,800 feet or a mile and a half from the ground, before firing up his jets. He made the 22-mile trip from Calais in France to Dover in England in a little under 15 minutes.

He began the Friday flight just before 12:07 GMT; by 12:15 GMT, Rossy was above British soil and looped over onlookers before opening his parachute, with his wings still strapped to his back.

"It was perfect. Blue sky, sunny, no clouds, perfect conditions," Rossy said. "We prepared everything and it was great." The trip across the Channel is meant to trace the route of French aviator Louis Bleriot, the first person to cross in an airplane 99 years ago.

The carbon composite-wing weighs about 121 pounds (55 kilograms) when loaded with fuel, and carried four kerosene-burning jet turbines that kept him aloft. The wing had no steering devices -- Rossy moved his body to control its movements.

Getting Back Lost Time

Last night's game put 7 years back on my life...

Ultimate Alley-Oop?

Gotta Get That Paper Dog!

Ed McMahon has an unexpected new job title: rapper.

The 85-year-old former "Tonight Show" sidekick will star in two viral rap videos for FreeCreditReport.com, a financial Web site owned by credit bureau Experian.

The videos feature McMahon wearing a tracksuit, being chauffeured around Los Angeles in a Cadillac Escalade golf cart and waxing lyrical about his very public financial troubles. The videos will appear online in October.

In the first video, McMahon -- who once pitched the American Family Publishing sweepstakes -- and a bodyguard are cruising through a neighborhood looking for sweepstakes winners to ask for some money back, but McMahon doesn't actually go through with it. In the second spot, McMahon dons a new suit after undergoing a financial and emotional makeover.

"When I retired, I was famous," McMahon raps in the video. "I had money and glory/I bought a house for 6 mill/I thought nothing could touch me/Until my credit went south, and debt started to crunch me/Next thing I know, instead of playing gin rummy, I was scrambling just to make ends meet/It wasn't funny."

After being joined by two scantily clad women, McMahon continues: "Got a bump from the media chumps, but that was temporary/Wife with bad credit was scary, so I got wise/I may have fallen, but I got back up/Now I'm back on the attack, like a ninja swinging nunchucks/I told the haters, 'Go on, take a hike'/It's my show now, and I can do what I like."

Wiener Scare

The discovery of several hot dogs in packages outside Citizens Bank Park brought the bomb squad out and forced the temporary evacuation of the stadium Wednesday evening.

According to police, Pattison Street between Darien and 11th Streets was shutdown as officials investigated the discovery of several suspicious packages near a ticket office.

Fans inside the stadium were evacuated, but players remained on the field during the incident.

Bomb squad members further investigated the packages and determined they were simply several hot dogs in foil wrappers. Sadly, the wieners were detonated as a precaution. The stadium was reopened at about 5:20 p.m.

"It was clear from when we looked at it at first glance and when you looked at the debris afterwards, there was packaging and duct tape; I don't see many hot dogs sold here with duct tape," Phillies VP of Operations Michael Stiles said. "We just did what we felt was appropriate."

You Gotta Believe!

Last night took 4 years off my life...

Crop Dusting

As if getting a DUI wasn’t enough, a man arrested for driving under the influence got in a lot more trouble at the police station.

Police stopped Jose Cruz on Route 60 in South Charleston Monday night for driving with his headlights off. Then, he failed sobriety tests and was arrested.

When police were trying to get fingerprints, police say Cruz moved closer to the officer and passed gas on him. The investigating officer remarked in the criminal complaint that the odor was very strong.

Cruz is now charged with battery on a police officer, as well as DUI and obstruction.

Shocker.

Shocker.

Following the Aug. 8 birth of his son Parker, singer Clay Aiken is following through on a promise he made to himself as a new dad: to publicly acknowledge that he's gay.

"It was the first decision I made as a father," Aiken, 29, tells the upcoming issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday. "I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things. I wasn't raised that way, and I'm not going to raise a child to do that."

Why Did The Elephant Cross The Road?

A five-ton elephant escaped from a circus and wandered onto a busy highway, where it was hit by a bus and died on Tuesday.

State officials say bus driver Tomas Lopez, 49, also was killed and at least four passengers were hospitalized after the pre-dawn collision in Ecatepec, just north of Mexico City.

Mexico State police spokesman Juan Sanchez said the elephant escaped from its cage at the Circo Union, but he declined to give any other details. He said officials were investigating.

Notimex news agency reported that the elephant named Indra escaped as its keeper arrived to feed it, knocking down a metal door that led to the street and wandering through two neighborhoods before trying to cross the highway.

Small circuses have used the name "Circo Union" in Mexico and it was not immediately clear which was involved.

Last month, a 500-pound lion escaped from a private zoo owned by a local lawmaker in southern Mexico. The animal killed two dogs and a pig and attacked a woman and child on a donkey before it was sedated and caught.

Ain't Gonna Hurt Nobody

BRUCE!

A huge pig called Bruce has trapped a terrified woman in her home in Australia.

Caroline Hayes, 63, tried to leave her house in Uki, New South Wales, to use the outdoor toilet, but the animal bit her and shoved her back inside.

Bruce, who is the size of a Shetland pony, showed up at her home 10 days ago after his owners were unable to cope with him and let him loose in the rainforest.

Hayes began feeding the beast, but he became more aggressive, demanding more food and biting her on the leg when she tried to go to the toilet.

Local rangers tried to rescue her but could not capture the huge animal.

Hayes told how she took pity on the beast, but it soon took over her home. "When I found it, it had 15 ticks in its eyes which I actually took out," she said. "One of its eyes it couldn't see out of, so I put cream in it, but apparently it's actually claimed my land and claimed my place.

"It started getting very pushy, started pushing me around, so I started to get a bit frightened, until the stage that it started knocking on my door at 4 a.m., actually head-butting my door.”

Scandalous Vandals

Less than a month into the football season, the Idaho Vandals are undergoing another makeover after spectators complained that cheerleaders' uniforms were flashing a little more than school spirit.

After the football team dumped the school logo from the buttocks of their new pants, the university in Moscow, Idaho got complaints that new two-piece cheerleader uniforms were too skimpy.

The outfits that drew controversy, halter tops and short black skirts with white trim, were similar to what an NFL cheerleader might wear, Pitman said.

The cheerleaders coach ordered the uniforms and paid for them with $4,200 from a spirit squad fund, part of which is drawn from student fees, Pitman said. The squad has ordered new uniforms with $2,200 in private money, he added.

The new uniform is black and silver with a less revealing halter-style top and a skirt about six inches longer than the ones that cheerleaders debuted earlier this season, said Shelly Robson, an adviser to the spirit squad and a fundraiser for the athletics department.

In The Year 2000....

Just as vinyl once gave way to compact discs as the main physical medium for music, CDs could be replaced now by a fingernail-sized memory card.

Perhaps not entirely, but SanDisk Corp., four major record labels and retailers Best Buy Co. and Wal-Mart Stores Inc. are hoping that albums sold on microSD memory cards will at least provide an additional stream of sales.

The companies unveiled plans Monday to sell memory cards loaded with music in the MP3 format, free of copy protections.

Called "slotMusic," the new format is meant to address two intertwined trends.

Schreiber said slotMusic albums will be sold on 1 gigabyte microSD cards, which means they will be able to hold a full album and related content such as liner notes and cover art.

Buyers will be able to use extra space on the cards to hold songs and photos from their own collections.

Great Seats

A beautiful Sunday afternoon at PNC Park....

The amazing view from the Lexus Club seats that Lisa and I had for the Pirates final home game of the season.

Survivin'

Former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker and celebrity disc jockey DJ AM remained in critical but stable condition Monday with second- and third-degree burns after a plane crash on Friday, with both expected to make a full recovery.

Two of the musicians' close friends and the plane's pilot and co-pilot were killed when a Learjet crashed on takeoff at Columbia Metropolitan Airport in South Carolina.

Barker was burned on his torso and lower body and DJ AM, whose real name is Adam Goldstein, was burned on an arm and a portion of his scalp, according to a statement from the musicians' families released by the hospital.

Investigators said they want to speak with Barker and Goldstein for their accounts of the crash, including how they survived. One witness said he discovered the musicians in the street near the fiery wreck as they frantically tried to douse their burning clothes.

Federal officials said Sunday that the crew thought a tire blew and tried to abort the takeoff but could not stop the plane.

Jorge Miguel

George Michael released a statement following his caution for possession of class A and class C drugs. He was arrested in a public lavatory in north London on Friday.

"I want to apologize to my fans for screwing up again, and to promise them I'll sort myself out. And to say sorry to everybody else, just for boring them," he said.

Michael, 45, was reportedly arrested after a tip-off from a suspicious attendant after he was seen loitering in underground lavatories in London's Hampstead Heath.

When officers arrived Michael was still in the lavatory and police reportedly found him in possession of cannabis and crack cocaine.

In a candid interview for BBC Radio 4's Desert Island Discs last year, Michael talked openly about his drug use. He said: "I'm a happy man and I can afford my marijuana so that's not a problem."

But the recent incident is not the first time Michael has found himself on the wrong side of the law. In 1998 he was arrested in public toilets in Beverly Hills, California for engaging in a lewd act.

A Girl's Best Friend

A huge gemstone that could become the world’s largest polished round diamond has been found at the Letseng Mine, owned by Gem Diamonds, in Lesotho, southern Africa.

The diamond weighs 478 carats and is the twentieth largest ever found. Gem Diamonds said initial examination suggests it has a flawless center and could produce a 150-carat round-cut white diamond worth tens of millions of dollars.

"Preliminary examination of this remarkable diamond indicates that it will yield a record-breaking polished stone of the very best color and clarity," the company's Chief Executive Clifford Elphick said in a statement.

The stone would dwarf the 105-carat Kohinoor in Great Britain's Crown Jewels. The largest rough diamond found was the Cullinan, in 1905, which weighed 3,106 carats uncut.

Double Dutch

Erica Rix was riding in the back of her mother’s SUV and dangling her jump rope out of the window with the rope's slip knot around her wrist. The other end of the rope became tangled in the car’s axle, and as the rope tightened around Erica’s left hand, it eventually sliced the hand off.

"She was screaming and screaming, so I got out of the car and out the window that was cracked, (was) the remaining part of her hand," Erica’s mother, Allison Rix told the TV station. "I screamed and said, 'Where's her hand?'"

A nearby woman found the hand with the rope still attached.

A driver stopped and used his belt to create a tourniquet around the young girl’s arm before she was rushed to the hospital. Four surgeons spent 10 hours reattaching the hand.

Weekend Entertainment

Everybody Be Cool- This Is A Robbery

Police are looking for an obese gunman who was garishly dressed in neon green when he robbed an Exxon station in broad daylight in the Northeast earlier this week.

"This individual is pretty unique in his size and dress," said Lt. Frank Vanore, police spokesman.

About 10:45 a.m. Wednesday, the gunman - estimated to weigh "well in excess" of 300 pounds - wobbled into the Exxon at 2230 Cottman Ave., not far from the Northeast Mall on Roosevelt Boulevard.

When no customers were in the store, the robber, with a silver handgun, went behind the counter and casually brushed an employee aside with his weapon and ordered him to open the register and stand back.

The robber then filled his pockets with bills and change, totaling nearly $600, and slowly bent over to pick up money he had dropped on the floor. He stuffed the gun in his pocket and strolled away.

Although the gunman did buy about $5 in gas before the robbery, police are unsure whether there was a getaway car.

Police also don't know whether the man was a construction worker or just dressed like one. He was wearing a bright lime green construction vest, hunter green hard hat and a flag bandana under his hat to shade the back of his neck. He was wearing a dark sweatshirt or windbreaker under the vest and jeans.

A Sad Day

Microsoft Corp. has retired a bizarre two-week-old ad campaign featuring the software giant's chairman with comedian Jerry Seinfeld.

Bloggers and online media have suggested that the Redmond, Washington-based company yanked the Seinfeld ads after they were poorly received. The ads show Gates and Seinfeld trading banter at a mall shoe store and while living with a suburban family, trying to get in touch with regular people. Seinfeld asks Gates nonsensical questions about the future of computing, and Gates responds with "signs" that he's on the right track, including "adjusting his shorts" and doing "the robot".

However, a senior vice president in Microsoft's central marketing group, Mich Mathews, contended in an interview Thursday that it was always the plan to replace the Seinfeld-Gates ads with ones that focus on Windows. "The notion that we're doing some quick thing to cancel (the Seinfeld ads) is actually preposterous," Mathews said. "Today was always the day. ... Media buying is something you have to do months in advance."

Mathews described the three Seinfeld spots as ice breakers with a limited shelf life, designed to grab people's attention in a tongue-in-cheek way without the pressure of having to talk about the product.

"MERV6SS-22AN" Warhead - Mission Failed

It wasn't the preferred way to enter the Knoxville Museum of Art, but Richard Anthony Smith told police he was on a mission. The 25-year-old Knoxville man called 911 from his cell phone before dawn Wednesday saying he was trapped in an air conditioning duct leading from the museum roof, Knoxville police spokesman Darrell DeBusk said.

Police and firefighters reached the roof, found a rope and cable and followed them to a vent shaft. Peering inside, they spotted Smith about 45 feet down.

"Mission failed," he told them.

Hoisted up and read his rights, Smith told police he was a "special agent from the United States Illuminati, badge number 0931" and had rappelled onto the museum from a helicopter, a police report said.

He said he was following orders to "defuse and confiscate" a Soviet-made nuclear warhead, specifically a "MERV6SS-22AN" warhead, according to the report. The bomb supposedly was hidden in a blue, plastic cow sculpture in the museum basement, he said.

However, Smith told officers his "agency" called while he was in air-vent limbo to say it made a mistake and the bomb might be in a Memphis museum instead.

Police charged Smith with aggravated robbery. He was being held on $2,000 bond at the Knox County Jail. Authorities said he did not have a lawyer.

"Fortunately he was able to reach his cell phone," DeBusk said, "or he may not have been found for quite some time."

The Golden Plunger

Steve Oswald isn't getting back the $156.94 he charged the city for cleaning a public bathroom. However, he did get the attention of city officials who promised to take better care of the bathroom, and honored his efforts Tuesday with the Golden Plunger Award.

Oswald, 45, said he didn't expect to be reimbursed after billing the west Michigan tourist town for the work he did last month. But he did say he appreciated the award, a toilet plunger spray-painted gold and set on an oak stand.

WZZM-TV in Grand Rapids reports the city has replaced some of the fixtures in the bathroom and will hire a cleaning company to keep it tidy.

Mayor Tony Vettori was quoted by The Grand Rapids Press as saying he was glad Oswald "lifted the lid on this problem."

Cats, Rats....And, Oh Yeah...Skunks

When Cape May officials decided this year to move colonies of feral cats away from the beach in their Victorian town, they had no idea of the smelly problem that would result.

The area around the Cape May Convention Hall has been having problems with brazen and numerous skunks. Mickey McGlade fears they'll scare regulars away from her seaside restaurant.

The cats were removed because they were disturbing endangered shore birds, including piping plovers. But now it's believed they were also scaring away skunks, who have shown up since the cats were taken away.

But some in town fear that if the skunks can be rounded up and carted off, there would be a new animal problem: rats.

M.I.A. - Paper Planes

What Movie???

A 40-year-old man walking his dog in the nude was Tasered by police when he refused to follow an officer's commands. David McCranie of the Tallahassee Police Department said an officer on patrol spotted the man shortly after 8 p.m. Friday.

The man was asked what he was doing and told the officer, "Allah told me to watch a Bruce Willis movie and walk the dog," McCranie said.

McCranie said using the Taser was the only way to subdue the man without having to hurt him. The man was then sent for mental-health evaluation and treatment.

Sweet Surrender?

Parking is limited, so fugitives should be dropped off by a friend or family member.

By 9 this morning, about 30 fugitives from justice had shown up at a South Philadelphia church, ready to get a hearing before a judge. By 10, the lineup had grown to 50.

They had passed a police perimeter to be greeted by several dozen officials and volunteers wearing blue shirts reading "Fugitive Safe Surrender."

That's the name of a federal program being tried for four straight days - from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. - at True Gospel Tabernacle Church, a large, old brick house of worship near 16th Street.

The first person processed was Nelson Figueroa, 41, of Logan, who had been wanted on DUI and drug possession charges.

"I just seen a judge," he said on his way out. "My warrants were lifted, and I'm free to go." He was also given a date to appear in court.

For some people, a church is a less intimidating place than a police station or a courthouse, according to Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey. Public defenders were expected to be on hand to provide legal help to those turning themselves in.

In Philadelphia, about 30,000 people are wanted for allegedly committing felonies, and another 38,000 people are sought on misdemeanor charges, authorities said at a recent news conference announcing the program.

So far, more than 13,000 fugitives have come forward nationwide because of the programs.

Parking is limited, so fugitives should be dropped off by a friend or family member.

Clinging To The Past

Wendy Brown, of Green Bay, faces a felony identity theft charge after enrolling in Ashwaubenon High School as her 15-year-old daughter, who lives in Nevada with Brown's mother.

According to the complaint, Brown wanted to get her high school degree and become a cheerleader because she didn't have a childhood and wanted to regain a part of her life that she'd missed.

Brown allegedly attended cheerleading practices before school started, received a cheerleader's locker and went to a pool party at the cheerleading coach's house.

The $134.50 check Brown gave to the cheerleading coach for her uniform bounced, the complaint said.

A high school employee, Kim Demeny, told authorities that the woman, posing as the teen, seemed very timid. Demeny said she told her she was not good at math and even cried when she talked about moving from Pahrump Valley High School in Nevada. Demeny said she looked older than a student but had the demeanor of a high school girl.

A school liaison officer started investigating after Brown only attended the first day of classes last week, the complaint said.

Assistant Principal Dirk Ribbins later learned Brown's daughter was enrolled at Pahrump Valley High School. Ribbins also spoke with Brown's mother, who told him she had custody of the girl. She said Brown has a history of identity theft crimes, the complaint said.

Animal Guernica

This art is created not by hands, but by paws and claws. Paintings featuring the brush strokes and paw prints of animals such as snow leopards and sea lions from zoos around the nation will be sold Tuesday.

This photo released by the Akron Zoo shows a painting by a 5-year-old female snow leopard named Hannah from the Akron Zoo in Akron, Ohio.

The sale is part of an online auction at auctionnetwork.com to raise money for zoo conservation efforts. It is sponsored by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums.

Association spokesman Steve Feldman says zoo keepers have long used painting as a way to mentally stimulate animals. Animal artwork also has been sold for some time and for surprising amounts of money, but Feldman says Tuesday marks the first collaborative effort by zoos.

Bidding is to begin at 5 p.m. with a painting by a penguin from Columbia's Riverbanks Zoo.

Super Slow Mo

The last one is the best......wait for it.

World Record Legs

Trafalgar Square routinely serves as a stage for mimes, jugglers and other acts, but the tourist attraction drew an exceptionally curious crowd Tuesday when the shortest man who can walk met the woman with the longest legs.

He Pingping, of China, was born with a type of dwarfism. He, 20, stands precisely 2 feet 5.37 inches tall.
The pair met to publicize the release of "Guinness World Records 2009." This year's version of the popular book is due out Wednesday.

He called Svetlana Pankratova's legs "very beautiful." Pankratova, 36, who is Russian but lives in Spain, has legs that are nearly 52 inches long, or more than 4 feet long.

Dressed in a bright-blue mini-dress and low-heeled pumps, Pankratova, 36, said she liked her legs, though they can complicate things. "It's hard to find clothes, especially pants," she said.

The latest edition of the book lists pop star Britney Spears as the most-searched person on the Internet and the television show "Lost" as the most-downloaded show of all time.

The book has been around for half a century. About 3.5 million copies are sold each year, according to editor-in-chief Craig Glenday.

Ultra Ultra Ultra Soft

If two-ply toilet paper is good, then three-ply tissue must be better. At least that's what toilet-paper researchers in northeastern Wisconsin hope.

Yes, there is such a thing as a toilet-paper researcher. And a team of them at Georgia Pacific's Innovation Institute in Neenah has come up with a three-ply version of its Quilted Northern product.

The new product will be launched Monday. The company touts the toilet tissue as "ultra-soft" and says it plans to market the product to women 45 and older who view their bathroom as a "sanctuary for quality time."

Industry analyst Bill Schmitz is skeptical. He said extra layers make toilet paper stronger, not softer, although he said Georgia Pacific may have added extra fibers for softness.

Exterminate!

Calling the loveable Disney rodent “one of Satan’s soldiers,” Sheikh Muhammad Munajid said household mice and their animated counterparts must be rubbed out, the U.K.’s Daily Telegraph reported Monday.

"Mickey Mouse has become an awesome character, even though according to Islamic law, Mickey Mouse should be killed in all cases."

Munajid, a former diplomat at the Saudi embassy in Washington D.C., made the remarks on Arab television network al-
Majd TV after he was asked to give Islam’s teaching on mice.

And Mickey wasn’t alone. Munajid also mentioned Jerry from “Tom and Jerry” fame is on his list of “impure” cartoon mice.

A(n)ttack From Mars

A newly discovered species of a blind, subterranean predator — dubbed the "Ant from Mars" — is likely a descendant of one of the very first ants to evolve on Earth, a new study finds.

The ant is well-adapted for its underground home, with a long, pale body and no eyes. It also has long, slender forceps-like mandibles that researchers suspect the ant uses to capture prey.

Ants evolved more than 120 million years ago from wasp ancestors. Scientists think that ants evolved quickly into many different lineages, specializing to live in the soil, leaf-litter or trees, or in multiple habitats.

I Go To TRL- Look How Many Hugs I Get

Start the countdown clock on MTV's countdown era: "Total Request Live" will soon shut down after 10 years on the air.

The music video show will conclude in a two-hour special on a Saturday afternoon in November, Dave Sirulnick, executive producer of "TRL," said Monday. He stressed that the show wasn't ending for good, but felt now was the right time to give it a break after an unprecedented run on the cable music channel.

"TRL" debuted in September 1998 and became the splashy center of the teen pop music scene with Britney Spears, the Backstreet Boys, N'Sync and other acts. From its heyday until 2008, it's been a destination for musicians, movie stars and celebrities promoting their new music, movies and other projects.

Sirulnick said "TRL" -- which airs weekday afternoons from MTV's Times Square studio -- lost some luster as it aged. It peaked in 1999 with 757,000 viewers tuning in daily, according to Nielsen Media Research.

MTV found a replacement of sorts with "FNMTV." The show debuted over the summer in a 15-episode run hosted by Pete Wentz, bassist for rock band Fall Out Boy. Taped in Los Angeles, it aired Friday nights and televised exclusive music videos and performances by such diverse acts as Slipknot and the Jonas Brothers.

Don't Make Heroes Out Of Warlocks...!

Harry Potter is Evil.

"Tomald McCruise"

Hungry Little Devils

A gang of Satan worshippers killed and ate four Russian teenagers in a sickening ritual.

The Satanists stabbed each of their victims a terrifying 666 times before dismembering their bodies and cooking them on a bonfire.

Russian police discovered the teenager's limbs, hearts and scalps in a pit in the Yaroslavl region around 300 miles from Moscow, along with the dead body of a small rodent crucified on an upside-down cross.

The victims, three girls and one boy, all aged 16 and 17, disappeared from their homes in June.

But police only discovered the remains of Anya Gorokhova, Olga Pukhova, Varya Kuzmina and Andrei Sorokin last month.

The four pals – described as "Goths" – were lured one by one to a country cottage and were allegedly forced to get drunk before the ritual began.

Hair from the victims was apparently found in the embers of the bonfire.

Cops arrested eight alleged Satan worshippers in connection with the killings after finding out that all four victims had telephoned Nikolai Ogolobyak, the alleged leader of the Satan gang. His apartment lies just about 250 yards from where the remains were discovered.

There's A Witch On The Pitch

Accusations that a soccer player was using witchcraft during a local match in eastern Congo sparked a riot that killed 13 people, a U.N.-funded radio station reported Monday.

Most of the victims were between the ages of 11 and 16, Radio Okapi said. They were suffocated during the mayhem Sunday in Butembo in eastern Congo's North Kivu province.

Radio Okapi said police tried to control the violence at Matokeo stadium by firing guns into the air to protect their commander, who was hit in the head and wounded by fans.

The two local clubs involved were Socozaki and Nyuki System, the radio said.

Dozens of teenagers marched through Butembo's dirt streets on Monday in protest and the regional governor paid a visit to the hospital.

North Kivu has been the epicenter of violence between Congo's army and rebels over the last year which has displaced hundreds of thousands of people.

Or Do I....?

"Man's best friend" may not cut it for a Scottsdale dog named Buddy — a trained German shepherd who saved his owner's life by dialing 911 when he began having a seizure, police said Sunday.

On the recorded 911 call Wednesday, Buddy is heard whimpering and barking after the somewhat confused dispatcher answers the phone and repeatedly asks if the caller needs help.

"Hello, this is 911. Hello ... Can you hear me? Is there somebody there you can give the phone to," says the dispatcher, Chris Scott.

Buddy barks loudly when police arrive about three minutes after the call is placed. An officer asks Buddy's owner, Joe Stalnaker, if he's OK. Stalnaker coughs, and the call ends.

Clark said police are dispatched whenever 911 is called, but that Stalnaker's address was flagged in Scottsdale's system with the fact that an assistance dog dials 911 when the owner cannot.

Clark said Stalnaker adopted Buddy when he was 8 weeks old and trained him to get the phone if he began to have seizure symptoms. Buddy, now 18 months old, also is trained to press programmed buttons until a 911 operator is on the line, Clark said.

The Stache