4 1/2-Foot-Long-Dong

A fossilized penis bone from an extinct walrus isn't the usual kind of artifact to hang above the mantel.

Maybe that's why it sold at auction for $8,000, far below the expected price.

The 4 1/2-foot-long item, covered with weathered skin and dry muscle tissue, was sold to the company that runs the Ripley's Believe It or Not museums.

"Their corporate office bought it and they'll probably display it around the country," he said. . "I thought it was a bargain," said Chait.

The fossilized baculum, or penis bone, is from a species of walrus that went extinct 12,000 years ago. It was found preserved in permafrost in northern Siberia.

"Let me be clear: I am not gay and never have been gay."

"At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot. ... The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area."

The report said that Craig swiped his hand beneath the stall divider several times and that Karsnia showed his police identification under the stall.

Craig denied any lewd intentions and told police he has a "wide stance" in the bathroom and reached down to pick up a piece of paper from the floor.

It should be noted that there was not a piece of paper on the bathroom floor, nor did Craig pick up a piece of paper…

Cheers!......to Sheetz!

The Pennsylvania Supreme Court has agreed to decide whether Pennsylvanians will be able to walk into their local grocery or corner store and pick up a six-pack of beer along with toilet paper and a carton of milk.

The case grew out of a central Pennsylvania chain's long-running attempt to capitalize on the state's arcane liquor laws and sell six-packs at one of its convenience stores. A victory for Sheetz Inc. could produce new profits for such chains and supermarkets.

What's In The Guitar Case?

Todd Marinovich, the former professional quarterback whose career ended in a mire of drug abuse, is facing a possible prison term after a weekend arrest in Orange County.

Police said Marinovich was skateboarding in a prohibited area near the Newport Pier boardwalk shortly before 1:30 a.m. Sunday and ran away when officers tried to stop him.

He was found hiding in a carport about six blocks away.

Marinovich had a guitar case, and inside officers found about a gram of powdered methamphetamine, a metal spoon and a hypodermic needle, Sgt. Evan Sailor said.

Marinovich was arrested and pleaded not guilty on Tuesday to felony possession of a controlled substance and misdemeanor counts of unauthorized possession of a hypodermic and resisting a police officer.

"Chall-ange!" Cosby and Sandman

aaaahhhhh.....the memories.

Spicy Sausage

Bitch! Yeah, Both Of Them...

Leona Helmsley's dog will continue to live an opulent life, and then be buried alongside her in a mausoleum.

Helmsley left her beloved white Maltese, named Trouble, a $12 million trust fund, according to her will, which was made public Tuesday in surrogate court.

She also left millions for her brother, Alvin Rosenthal, as well as two of four grandchildren from her late son Jay Panzirer -- so long as they visit their father's grave site once each calendar year. Otherwise, she wrote, neither will get a penny of the $5 million she left for each.

Helmsley left nothing to two of Jay Panzirer's other children -- Craig and Meegan Panzirer -- for "reasons that are known to them," she wrote.

But no one made out better than Trouble, who once appeared in ads for the Helmsley Hotels, and lived up to her name by biting a housekeeper.

Helmsley died earlier this month at her Connecticut home. She became known as a symbol of 1980s greed and earned the nickname "the Queen of Mean" after her 1988 indictment and subsequent conviction for tax evasion. One employee had quoted her as snarling, "Only the little people pay taxes."

Kids

I have no legs! I have no legs! I have no legs!

170,000 and counting...

An iron-lunged pensioner has celebrated her 100th birthday by lighting up her 170,000th cigarette from a candle on her birthday cake.

Winnie Langley started smoking only days after the First World War broke out in June 1914 when she was just seven-years-old - and has got through five a day ever since.

She has no intention of quitting, even after the nationwide ban forced tobacco-lovers outside.

Speaking at her 100th birthday party Winnie said: "I have smoked ever since infant school and I have never thought about quitting.

The former launderette worker said she started the habit in 1914 - just weeks after the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand in Sarajevo on June 28 - which sparked the First World War.

The 100-year-old, who is awaiting her telegram from the Queen today, said smoking helped calm her nerves during the two World Wars.

Urine Good Health

Brothers Meng Xianchen and Meng Xianyou told the Beijing News they became so hungry it was impossible even to crawl. The men were working at an illegal mine on the outskirts of Beijing when they were trapped by a rock fall on 18 August.

Rescue efforts were halted after two days, with officials and the families of both men believing they were dead. But the pair managed to dig their way out of the pit using just their hands, after spending more than five days under ground.

He described how they filled two water bottles with urine, saying: "You can only take small sips, and when you've finished, you just want to cry."

“At the end, we were so hungry we ate coal and thought it tasted delicious," Meng Xianchen said. Xianyou said he found coal "quite fragrant" at first, but later it became "bitter and unsmooth".

They had a "total breakdown" and eventually began to use humour to help them get through the ordeal.

"I told my brother 'your wife is going to have to marry someone else'", Meng Xianyou told the newspaper.

His brother replied: "I laughed too. I said my wife could find a rich man in Shenyang.

"But then I thought, I have two children and my wife is ugly, so it would be hard for her to remarry."

Surgutneftegas

Potemkin, one of London’s leading vodka bars, has named five cocktails after the top Russian companies currently traded on the London Stock Exchange -- Tatneft, Rostelekom, Evraz, MMC Norilsk Nickel, and Surgutneftegas -- and will adjust alcohol levels according share price performance.

Entrepreneur Roger Shashoua developed the idea to promote his book "Dancing with the Bear" about making money in Russia.

"Most British people are unaware of just how successful Russian businesses are proving to be in London," he said in a statement. "This provides them with an opportunity to do their homework, and eat, drink, and make money."

Potemkin will assess the performance of the five companies on a weekly basis. If their share prices rise, so too will the alcohol used to prepare each cocktail.

The price will remain the same at 4.95 pounds per cocktail, but drinkers should be aware that, just like share values, alcohol content can fall as well as rise.

Slash To My Lou

Former playground legend Rafer “Skip to my Lou” Alston is taking great advantage of his shot at The Show. And by that, I mean he’s totally screwing it up: Skip was arrested yesterday on charges that he stabbed someone at a club in NYC. It’s the second time in three weeks that he’s been in trouble with the law.

The trouble began when a member of Alston’s entourage got into an argument with a 41-year-old man. The fight escalated into a brawl, and at one point Alston slashed the man, sources said.

He was arrested Aug. 5 for allegedly shaking a parking attendant and spitting in his face during a drunken rage after his car was towed.

One fans response that I think we can all agree with, “Do your thing, Rafer. I’ve been around grimey, shank-prone individuals for over 15 years. If you don’t do anything to warrant getting shanked, then you don’t get shanked. Simple as that.”

Crazy Ol' JoePa

Paterno will return to coach a game on the sidelines Saturday for the first time since being seriously injured in a sideline collision against Wisconsin in November of last season.

But will he still come out of the tunnel charging before the game?

“Not really. I’ve got a new plan. I’m going to drop from a parachute. How do you think I’m going to get on the field? How about if you carry me out?”

Sufjan Stevens - Casimir Pulaski Day

Expand your mind (and wings)

Delicacy

A Northern Ireland man bit off the head of his girlfriend's pet snake during a fight and remarked that it "tasted lovely," lawyers testified Friday.

Shane Cooke, a 33-year-old bricklayer, was arraigned in Belfast High Court on charges of assaulting his girlfriend, Coleen McGleenon, and fatally torturing her royal python Aug. 4.

McGleenon's lawyers said he headbutted her twice and picked up her pet, put it in his mouth, and threw its severed head at her. "Your snake tasted lovely," he was quoted as saying.

This Just In...

There is new information to report in the Owen Wilson alleged suicide.

He hopes we will give him peace to get over a few things.

That's it. That's the story they give us.

Use The Force

As part of the "Star Wars"' 30th anniversary celebration, NASA has agreed to carry the prop weapon into orbit and jettison it in space, according to collectSPACE.com.

Details will be announced in Houston Tuesday.

The lightsaber will be handed over to the space agency by Chewbacca at the Oakland Airport, not far from George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch, collectSPACE.com said.

It reports the priceless piece will be greeted in Houston by a group of Stormtroopers along with R2D2.

Still In The Game

A 93-year-old man was charged with cocaine-trafficking Thursday, the same day police netted three other people on charges of possessing heroine, opium and a slew of prescription drugs, police said Friday.

William C. Tinnen, also charged with possession of cocaine with intent to sell, was jailed before being released Friday on $200,000 bond, said the Durham Police Department.

Unimaginable

A man was killed when his motorcycle struck the rear of a car near the Pennsylvania end of the Benjamin Franklin Bridge and the impact threw him over the side of the bridge onto a street below.
DeShain Green, 28, of Woodbury, N.J., fell onto Delaware Avenue about 1 a.m. Monday. He was pronounced dead at the scene, officials said.
Green was headed toward New Jersey on the span over the Delaware River when the crash occurred, said John Miller, a spokesman for the Delaware River Port Authority.

More on this as it develops...

Live From Abbey Road

Ray La Montagne sings 'Jolene'. "wow, heartfelt, honest music. A point of clarity in a mostly otherwise dark sea of bubblegum b.s. american music." -'smbrox'

My Special Plant...

71-year-old woman was arrested on drug charges after a chest-high marijuana plant was found in her yard, a plant she said was meant to keep animals away from her garden.

A sheriff's deputy saw the plant as he drove past Betty Holt Walker's home earlier this month, according to Capt. Tony Caliendo of the Guilford County Sheriff's Department.

The deputy stopped to investigate and found five smaller plants behind a shed, as well as marijuana stems and seeds, and a water bong made from a soda bottle inside the house, Caliendo said.

Walker told the deputy she found the first plant, which had grown to more than 4 feet tall when he saw it, in her garden and repotted it. She said it was a special plant used to keep animals out of her front yard.

Hulk Hogan vs. Gremlins

hahahahahahahaha! You think the Gremsters can beat the Hulkster? Think again...

American Idol (Billy)

From pig farms and beyond, American Idol hopefuls arrive in the early morning hours at Wachovia Center for a shot at stardom.

Only about 1 in 50 to 75 tryouts yielded the yellow paper that signaled come-back success, he said. Some, of course, were of the can-you-believe-this-guy? sort.

"There are some freaks that have gotten through," Harold Jennings said.

Doing Things Yourself

A driver tried to run away after his car struck and killed an off-duty Flint police officer, but bystanders tackled him, police said.

It happened near the DTE Energy Music Theater near Clarkston where OzzFest, an all day music festival was taking place

D'Anna, of Goodrich, died Monday at Genesys Regional Medical Center.
According to police, D'Anna was struck from behind by a 28-year-old Pontiac man driving a 1992 Camaro. Deputies said that the Camaro went over D'Anna, dragging him several feet.

The driver attempted to run, but witnesses tackled and held him until police arrived.

Several witnesses lifted the car off of D'Anna after he was trapped underneath.

Eli Cash?

After the suicide attempt...

...more like Richie "The Baumer" Tenenbaum.

The ENQUIRER has learned new details about the shocking suicide attempt. Wilson cut both wrists and took an indeterminate amount of pills. He was discovered by a family member who summoned help. His situation was dire when he was discovered.

More on this story as it develops...

Spin Rage

We've all heard of road rage, but "spin rage" you may not be aware of. One man says he was injured when someone in his spinning class lost control and went on the attack.

"If I was a lighter guy, I could have been killed over something like this," victim Stuart Sugarman said.

Added Dr. David Matusz of Lenox Hill Hospital: "It's pretty serious. At this point, he has weakness and loss of sensation in his arm."

According to Matusz, the victim also suffered a concussion and had surgery on his neck. Determined to make sure no one else endures his pain, Sugarman hired an attorney, who calls his client a victim of "spin rage."

There's music and excitement at a routine spin class, but Sugarman says on the night of Aug. 15, his workout spun out of control.

"This fella came in and sat down and he didn't like the fact that there was a lot of excitement going on and for whatever reason, he targeted me," Sugarman said. "Taking the bike and myself and hitting me so hard into the sheetrock wall that we crashed to the wall."

What's Slower?

Today???

or

This guy?

Corky. (you know you miss him...)

For Joe...

Enjoy. Grandma's Boy- see it!

King Of Wing

Matt Reynolds is determined to find the world's best chicken wings and he's come home to do it. Reynolds is leading a caravan of wing lovers on a trek up and down and across New York state in search of the best chicken wings.

The "Great Chicken Wing Hunt" began last weekend in Manhattan and made a stop yesterday in Albany.

Their itinerary includes stops in the Adirondacks, Watertown, Syracuse, Rochester and finally the birthplace of the chicken wing, Buffalo, where they'll attend the National Wing Festival on Labor Day weekend.

Reynolds is making a documentary film about his quest, and his eclectic group includes cameramen, a guitar player and a competitive eater from Rochester nicknamed "Mighty Thor."

The 31-year-old said he got the idea while working as a journalist in Slovakia, where he made it his mission to introduce chicken wings to Europeans.

Shy? ...Don't Be

If I Ever Fall In Love Again - SHAI

Happy Birthday, Rik

The Dunking Dutchman

He wears a size 20 shoe.

Rik F'in Smits

'Gosh, dang, Mike'

Mike Flynt was drinking beer and swapping stories with some old football buddies a few months ago when he brought up the biggest regret of his life: Getting kicked off the college team before his senior year. So, one of his pals said, why not do something about it?

Flynt's only concern was if he was eligible.

Finding out he was, Flynt returned to Sul Ross State this month, 37 years after he left and six years before he goes on Medicare. His comeback peaked Wednesday with the coach saying he's made the Division III team's roster.

A longtime strength and conditioning coach at Nebraska, Oregon and Texas A&M, he's spent the last several years selling the Powerbase training system he invented.

Flynt's position is still being determined, but he used to play linebacker.

"I told him he's an idiot," said Jerry Larned. "I said, `Gosh, dang, Mike, you're not 20 years old any more. You're liable to cripple yourself.' He understands all of that. But he has a burning desire to play. ... He is in great physical condition. He still runs a 5-flat 40 and bench presses I-don't-know-what. He's a specimen for 59 years old."

"People have asked me, `Mike, what is the fountain of youth?' Well, it's strength training that builds muscle, increases bone density and burns calories," he said. "It's the one thing you can do in your 90s and benefit from."

Flynt won't be playing football in his 90s. He'll be out of eligibility then.

Chicken Fest

The town of Zitiste, 50 miles southwest of Belgrade, hopes the statue will help them fight their way out of obscurity just like Sylvester Stallone's character did in the "Rocky" movies.

Town officials said their community has been losing jobs and residents for years and that the new statue may raise their profile a bit.

The statue was unveiled during a ceremony Saturday night at the town's annual Chicken Fest.

Janis Gold

Comedian Janeane Garofalo is joining the cast of "24" as Janis Gold -- an FBI systems analyst.

'24' just got a little more cunty.

Spoon (Wo)Man

Dropping something may have saved Joy Horton's life. The 73-year-old woman was preparing some food in her western New York home on Monday morning when she dropped a spoon on the floor of her kitchen. When she bent down, her house exploded.

The explosion leveled her home in the Wayne County town of Sodus, on Lake Ontario about 25 miles east of Rochester.

Horton wasn't seriously injured. She crawled out from underneath the rubble and walked to her daughter's home nearby to get help.

Fire officials said that because Horton was bending down when the explosion occurred, the kitchen sink and counter top helped keep debris from hitting her.The cause of the explosion remains under investigation.

What An Ass

He rode his mule into town looking for work.

No, it wasn't the opening scene of a Western movie. It was what Rod Maday did last week, ending a six-week odyssey from his hometown of Boy River, Minn.

"I've done about 1,500 miles and I've got the saddle sores to prove it," he said.

Maday said he lost his driver's license 10 years ago after he was accused in a hit-and-run, and was having a hard time finding work in Minnesota. He heard that Wyoming had plenty of jobs that paid well.

He set out with two mules. About a month ago, both mules got loose and one was hit by a car. It had to be euthanized.
Maday arrived at the Department of Workforce Services office on Friday morning wearing a torn shirt, dusty blue jeans, spurs and a cowboy hat. Astride his brown and silver mule, Henry, he caused several double-takes.

He didn't stay long. He said some teenagers had yelled "uncalled for" things at him while he was riding into town the night before.

"Gillette's nothing like what I had thought," he said.

He left Saturday morning, riding west toward the Bighorn Mountains.

"I could probably get a job and stay here, but I'm not willing to part with my mule," Maday said. "He's my best friend and I'm not getting rid of him for nothing."

Just Takin' A Dip

A Florida fugitive was captured Monday after authorities found him skinny dipping in the Hudson River, police said.

An officer found a car Sunday night at a park site in upstate New York that closes at dusk. Police spotted clothing and a wallet in the car and began a search, eventually moving to the water.

"Our guys thought for sure we had a drowning," said Orange County Deputy Chief Rick Hovey.

David Rogers, 31, was found just before 3:30 a.m., about 200 yards offshore.

"He was kind of floating on his back, resting," Hovey said. "He claims he swam all the way across and back. ... He was naked when they got him out of the water."

Rogers was charged with trespassing for being in the park after hours. Swimming is not allowed at the park.

A Little Sun On A Rainy Day

Seven - Sunny Day Real Estate

"Can You Hook Me Up?"

A man hoping to score some meth asked the wrong person for the drug. The Eugene police vice narcotics unit had searched an apartment on Monday night and were questioning the tenant when a man came by and asked to buy drugs.

As detectives stood around with their badges hanging from their necks and latex gloves on their hands, the man asked the tenant, "Can you hook me up?" Webber said.

The tenant was seated on the couch with handcuffs around his wrists. A detective was writing him a citation.

The tenant said, "I don't think I can help you," Webber recalled, but the visitor persisted. He then allegedly turned to a detective and asked him for meth.

Wilkinson tried to run, but officers grabbed him, Webber said.

They also arrested a man who walked into the apartment carrying seven baggies of meth, Webber said.

A fourth man showed up at the apartment carrying an illegal butterfly knife, Webber said. He told police he had come to tell Puckett not to sell drugs to his girlfriend. He left with a citation for carrying a concealed weapon.

After that, police stopped answering the door, Webber said.

I'm Sorry

Michael Vick at a recent press conference...

That's my dawg!

Nickel, Dime, Quarter, Grimes.

Nickel, Dime, Quarter, Grimes.

People come and people go,
But Grimes, he’s here to stay.
Every year I see him grow…
Can Grimes come out and play?

Bob Hayes likes to play with Grimes,
For that you can be damn sure.
They’ve hung out so many times,
Why not hang out some more?

One man loves that sweet man Grimes,
His name is Negro Leary.
He sits and listens to Funkadelic Rhymes,
So long to make him weary.

Andy & Chris- the last to go.
They feel the temptation of Grimes.
Now they go to the bar of fantasy shows,
Smoking bags of dimes.

Jonny R.- now there’s a name,
In fact, a whole different story.
He smoked himself straight to fame,
Grimes and him in glory.

Loc Dog is completely gone,
Some people say he’s a waste.
It’s just the fact that Grimes to him,
Has a completely different taste.

Marky J- now he’s so nice,
He threw up on Rossman’s stairs.
He had some brew- once, twice, thrice
It’s fun, so nobody cares.

Now there’s the Moose,
Some say that he’s gone limp…
Maybe he’s just hangin’ loose?
No, fuck that!- he’s a pimp.

Brandon, Brandon Walloff
He hangs with Grimes a plenty.
In the halls you hear “Schwwaaaaaalllllllllooofffffffff!”
God damn!- it must be 4:20.

Last but not least, there lies the Khan.
We’ve all had some fuckin’ good times.
Not for long will the Big Poppa be gone,
Long Live Mother Fuckin’ Grimes.

GJC- circa ‘97

What Steix & Cheese Already Knew...

--What’s more embarrassing…the spelling error or the reasons they chose Madison???

The Ogden School District named a new school "James A. Madison Elementary School" in May, but a history teacher pointed out this month that the fourth president of the United States didn't have a middle initial.

"I'm blindsided," school board member John Gullo said. "I hate being embarrassed."

Word of the mistake reached superintendent Noel Zabriskie, who verified it and called the company that was making a sign for the new school. The call came in time for the error to be fixed on the sign. It is set to be installed Friday.

The board voted May 23 to approve the school name as "James A. Madison." The majority of board members chose Madison because the school borders Madison Avenue. Several board members also said they feel James Madison was a great president.

August Fools!

A man visiting a convenience store was struck in the head with a gun when he mistook a robber for a friend playing a practical joke, police said.

The masked man entered Sandler's Party Store about 10:30 p.m. Wednesday, brandished a handgun and demanded money.

Police said Patrick O'Bryan, 21, of Port Huron, walked up to the man, thinking he was a friend, and grabbed him in a playful way.

The gunman hit O'Bryan in the head with the gun, and the clerk opened two cash registers. The gunman took an undisclosed amount of cash and took off.

Boshintang

New Delhi's stray dogs lead a difficult life. But if it was up to one city councilor, they would find themselves in more hot water, soup to be precise.

Shipping the thousands of strays to Korea, where dog meat is widely consumed in soup, was one of the more outlandish ideas proposed at a city council meeting to deal with the stray dog problem.

None of the ideas are likely to be implemented anytime soon. Instead, the council chairman asked the presumably more responsible veterinary department to come up with a workable plan.

City councilor Mohan Prashad Bharadwaj said he had read that Koreans are fond of dog meat and "maybe we can send all the stray dogs of Delhi there," the paper quoted him as saying. A soup with dog meat called boshintang is popular in Korea.

I'll Bet You $50 That You Won't...

A 23-year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival.

The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it.

"There's a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage," zoo director Vuk Bojovic told Reuters.

Just Another...

What's worse...waking up, working, or knowing there's four more days after this one?

Reincarnation

Chris Farley has been found!

(in the body of a 2 year old girl)

Mookie's New Home

The kitchen floor is just as nice in Monessen, PA.

Miss you buddy...see you soon!

Workin' The Quads

A 35-year-old Canadian woman has given birth to rare identical quadruplets.

Karen Jepp of Calgary, Alberta, delivered Autumn, Brooke, Calissa and Dahlia by Caesarian section Sunday afternoon.

"These babies are doing grand," said Dr. Tom Key of Great Falls, the perinatologist who delivered the girls.

The babies were born about two months early and were conceived without fertility drugs, he said. They weighed between 2.6 pounds and 2.15 pounds.

The chance of giving birth to identical quadruplets is about one in 13 million, Key said.

Unfortunately…they all look like this:

On The Telephone?!?!?

"He don't even have a license, Lisa..."

The Duct Tape Bandit

A man accused of being the "Duct Tape Bandit" has gotten into a sticky situation. The man, who had his head wrapped in duct tape to conceal his identity, walked into a liquor store on Friday, Ashland police said.

Shamrock Liquors store manager Bill Steele had some duct tape of his own, but his was wrapped around a wooden club that sent the robber fleeing, according to a report by WSAZ-TV in Huntington, W.Va.

Store employee Craig Miller said he chased the man to the parking lot, tackled him and held him in a choke hold until police arrived. A customer also helped, police said.

Kasey G. Kazee, 24, of Ashland, was charged with first-degree robbery, according to Ashland Police Sgt. Mark McDowell.

Kazee, in an interview with the TV station, denied he was the bandit who robbed the store of two rolls of change. He pleaded not guilty Monday and bond was set at $250,000.

Ridin' That Train...

A woman was arrested after she called police to help "get her money back" after she was unhappy with the crack cocaine she purchased.

Juanita Marie Jones, 53, called Rochelle Police late Thursday night after she purchased what she thought was a $20 piece of crack cocaine, according to police reports.

She told officers she broke the rock into three pieces and smoked one, only to discover the drugs were "fake."

She took Officer Joel Quinn and Deputy John Shedd of the Wilcox County Sheriff's Office into her kitchen and showed them the drugs, police said.

She was promptly arrested on charges of possession of cocaine.

Someone Shoot The Deputy

Charlotte Moore, 36, a jail deputy, was off duty driving her 2004 Pontiac Grand Am on Saturday when she was pulled over by her husband, Elko County Sheriffs Deputy Mike Moore, a police report said.

In two separate accounts of the incident, Mike Moore indicated she initially was pulled over for either speeding or making an illegal turn.

She allegedly left before being administered a portable breathalyzer test, the Elko Daily Free Press reported.

Mike Moore pulled her over again and called for backup. He left shortly after another officer arrived.

Mike Moore was following procedure when he asked for backup, Elko County Undersheriff Rocky Gonzalez told the newspaper.

Neither Mike nor Charlotte Moore was available for comment Monday. Charlotte Moore was released on Sunday and placed on paid administrative leave.

9 Lives

A cat in West Orange may have only eight lives left after it avoided a blaze that gutted part of the house it lived in by hiding in the couch.

Firefighters battling the blaze late Saturday night initially thought the feline, who belonged to one of the tenants in the two-story house, had been killed by flames and smoke. But after putting out the blaze and surveying the damage, they found the cat wedged into the couch.

"To our amazement, it had survived," Fire Chief Peter Smeraldo told The Star-Ledger of Newark for Monday's newspapers. "They should change that cat's name to Lucky."

Tim F'in Donaghy

Damn.
(I wish I had the hook-up.)

Speaking Of One Rib...

Too funny not to show...

I Want My Baby Back!

Well, here I am!

...and here's some ribs

(Let me get one rib. -Chris Rock)

It's Not A Tumor!

It's a joint.

Where Am I Moving?

…to beautiful Monessen, PA (just outside Pittsburgh)- of course!

A Monessen High School teacher resigned after winning a date with a porn star during a satellite radio contest.

The school board voted to accept Jaison Biagini's resignation on Tuesday.

While listening to the "Bubba the Love Sponge" radio show on Sirius satellite radio, Biagini won the trip last month to St. Petersburg, Fla., to meet with porn star Akira.

Biagini, who uses a wheelchair, was interviewed on the radio show after returning home, and told the Valley Independent in Monessen that he was ridiculed for his disability and offended by how he was portrayed on the show. He also expressed concerns about his teaching job.

Biagini contended the radio host chastised him, saying Biagini knew full well what the contest was about.

Akira

Free Internet

A thief was convicted and fined after being spotted on a video posted on the Web site YouTube.

One viewer recognized the man and alerted police. Dawson Anthony Bliss, 50, was convicted of theft in Greymouth District Court on Thursday after pleading guilty.

Skid Mark Jesus

A smudge of driveway sealant resembling Jesus Christ's face has fetched more than $1,500 for the Forest family that found the holy image on its garage floor. The Serio family put the slab of concrete up for auction on eBay more than a week ago. Wednesday, they got a taker at $1,525.69.

"I really never thought I'd get any, to be honest," said Deb Serio, a high school teacher.
Described as an "uncanny icon of Christ," the slab doesn't cry, change appearance or do anything else.

It just looks a lot like the son of God.