You Get What I Give You

The owner of a car dealership has been accused of killing two employees because they kept asking for pay raises.

Milinavicius, who was having financial problems, told police he shot the two Thursday after they kept asking for more pay, said police in East Point, which is just outside Atlanta.

"He told us that he was under a lot of stress," East Point police Capt. Russell Popham said. "Unfortunately, he decided to take his anger out with violence."

"As I understand, the employees were not really happy about the pay, and they had questioned him about it over the course of time," Popham said. "That morning he said he just snapped."

Back From The Dead

McKellar, who played Winnie on the 1990s television show "The Wonder Years," is coming out with a book, "Math Doesn't Suck," to encourage girls to get into math.

The book includes tips to avoid mistakes on homework, ways to overcome test-day anxiety and profiles of three beautiful mathematicians.

"I want to tell girls that cute and dumb isn't as good as cute and smart," she said.

This picture comes with the book:

Croc Of....

Crocs, the rubbery, clog-like shoes, have been deemed inappropriate footwear for workers in patient-care areas at a hospital.

Holes that ventilate the shoes pose a safety hazard, said Sharon Krystofiak, Mercy Hospital's infection control manager.

"If there's a chance you could drop something like a syringe in one of them, we want to avoid that," Krystofiak said. "Some of those holes are relatively large, almost like a dime."

In the real world, Crocs have been deemed inappropriate since they are so hideously disgusting…

Panda Poop

Nothing says "I love you" like a photo frame made from panda poop.

The Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding Base has come up with a dung-for-profit scheme that turns droppings from the endangered species into odor-free souvenirs ranging from bookmarks to Olympic-themed statues of the animals.

"We used to spend at least 6,000 yuan ($770) a month to get rid of the droppings but now they can be lucrative," Jing Shimin, assistant to the base director, was quoted as saying by the official Xinhua News Agency.

The products will be made at a local handicraft company mostly from undigested bamboo culled from the panda waste through a special process, Xinhua said.

"They don't smell too bad because 70 percent of the dung is just remains of the bamboo that the pandas are unable to digest," Jing said.

While no price has been set, he said the most expensive souvenirs will contain a panda hair , collected from the wild , in each package.

Filipino Prison - Thriller Remake

The video shot in a provincial jail on the central Philippine island of Cebu shows some of the 1,600 inmates dancing in a routine to the Jackson classic. Brilliant!

Suckers...

FORE!Golfing with Lisa and Andy - What A Day!

Lager is best from a can...

Straight Outta The Tap

PepsiCo Inc. will spell out that its Aquafina bottled water is made with tap water, a concession to the growing environmental and political opposition to the bottled water industry. According to Corporate Accountability International, a U.S. watchdog group, the world's No. 2 beverage company will include the words "Public Water Source" on Aquafina labels.
-
Pepsi's Aquafina and Coca-Cola Co's Dasani are both made from purified water sourced from public reservoirs, as opposed to Danone's Evian or Nestle's Poland Spring, so-called "spring waters," shipped from specific locations the companies say have notably clean water.

It's An Emergency - I'm Lonely!

A man charged with dialing 911 to chat with dispatchers nearly 300 times in the last month remained in jail Wednesday. Cheveon Alonzo Ford, 21, was arrested Tuesday night and charged with making obscene and harassing telephone calls.

He told authorities he began calling 911 because "I have no minutes on my phone and 911 is a free call," the Escambia County Sheriff's Office said in a news release.

Ford was being held on a $50,000 bond Wednesday afternoon.

"When he would call and a male dispatcher would answer, he would hang up," he said. "Our policy says that if a caller is belligerent in nature we have to get enough information to process the call and then we can disconnect," he said.
Ford never asked dispatchers for help or indicated he was in trouble. Boschen said many of Ford's 292 calls were sexual in nature.

Beetlejuice

Workin' It

Meow, You're Dead

Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours. His accuracy, observed in 25 cases, has led the staff to call family members once he has chosen someone. It usually means they have less than four hours to live.

"He doesn't make too many mistakes. He seems to understand when patients are about to die," said Dr. David Dosa in an interview.

The 2-year-old feline was adopted as a kitten and grew up in a third-floor dementia unit at the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center. The facility treats people with Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease and other illnesses.

After about six months, the staff noticed Oscar would make his own rounds, just like the doctors and nurses. He'd sniff and observe patients, then sit beside people who would wind up dying in a few hours.

Doctors say most of the people who get a visit from the sweet-faced, gray-and-white cat are so ill they probably don't know he's there, so patients aren't aware he's a harbinger of death.

Oscar recently received a wall plaque publicly commending his "compassionate hospice care."

3 Fingers Of Glenlivet

At least twice, astronauts were allowed to fly after flight surgeons and other astronauts warned they were so drunk they posed a flight-safety risk, an aviation weekly reported Thursday, citing a special panel studying astronaut health.

The independent panel also found "heavy use of alcohol" before launch that was within the standard 12-hour "bottle-to-throttle" rule, according to Aviation Week & Space Technology, which reported the finding on its Web site.

The panel was created following the arrest in February of former space shuttle flier Lisa Nowak, who was implicated in a love triangle.

The Aviation Week report doesn't make clear when the alleged incidents occurred, nor does it say whether the intoxication involved crew members who have no role in flying the shuttle or whether it was the pilot and commander.

It's Time

The Simpsons Movie

For a little warm up...take the quiz:

http://www.philly.com/inquirer/hot_topics/simpsons_quiz.html

Back Doorman

Roger Henderson II, 18, was arraigned yesterday on charges of bestiality, cruelty to animals and breaking and entering in connection with an incident police say took place at Boggastow Farm on June 27.

According to a police report, the farm's barn had been the target of at least a dozen break-ins between August 2006 and June 2007, prompting the property owner to install surveillance cameras.

Between 3 and 4 a.m. on June 27, according to police, the camera captured and filmed a person identified as Roger Henderson II.

The man grabbed a sheep by its hind legs and dragged it to the corner of the stall, according to police. The man removed his clothes and appeared to have sexual relations with the sheep. After finishing, the man put his pants back on and left the barn with his shirt in his hand, according to the report.

Following his arraignment yesterday, Henderson was released to the custody of his parents, on the condition he stay at least 30 yards away from the farm, and animals in general.

Po(o)p Star

"It's definitely the most bizarre shoot I've ever been on," said Sarah Ivens of Ok! Magazine.

Representatives for Spears had offered an exclusive interview that was intended as career comeback for the 25-year-old pop singer, Ivens said.

During the shoot, Spears wiped grease on a designer dress, treating it like "a napkin," and sat back and watched as her Yorkshire terrier puppy pooped on a $6,700 designer gown.

Spears took frequent trips to the bathroom -- leaving the door open -- and complained that the high-end clothing put together for the July 19 shoot wasn't sexy, short or tight enough, the magazine said.

After about three hours, Spears bolted before the shoot was over, walking away with more than $14,000 of borrowed apparel, Ivens said.

OK! publicist Brian Strong said the magazine didn't publish the photos in its latest issue because they "weren't up to standard."

Zed's Dead

Well...not really. He was only arrested.

Actor Peter Greene, who infamously played the role of gimp-handler Zed in Quentin Tarantino's "Pulp Fiction," was arrested in New York City on Tuesday for possession of crack cocaine.

--I guess you need to kill the pain of getting shot in the nuts.

"Bring out the gimp!" - "They didn't have blueberry, I had to get buttermilk." - "On top of the kangaroo."

Give Him A Buzz

Artie Lange's Home Phone Number:

(201)876-3239

Check Please!

A high-rolling businessman woke up with a bar receipt for £105,805 in his wallet after he treated a group of friends to a lavish night out at one of London's most expensive nightclubs.

Over the course of seven hours at London's Crystal nightclub, the Middle Eastern banker is alleged to have splashed out on numerous super-sized bottles of champagne and vodka.

In total, he is said to have bought an astonishing 102 bottles-worth of champagne and 11 bottles-worth of vodka.

• Three magnums of Dom Perignon 1995 (£2,700)
• Fifteen bottles of Dom Perignon 1999 (£3,600)
• Six magnums of Dom Perignon (£4,200)
• Twelve bottles of Dom Perignon Rose (£4,200)
• Thirty-six bottles of Cristal (£12,960)
• Four bottles of Cristal Rose; (£2,400)
• Two Jeroboams of Cristal (£9,600)
• One Methuselah of Cristal (£30,000)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=470503&in_page_id=1766&ito=1490

Can't Weight

Maggie, who had a family history of heart disease and diabetes, had been warned by her doctor at the age of 27 that she wouldn't live to see 30.

"The biggest shock of my entire life was stepping on a hospital scale and realizing I weighed 440 pounds," she recalls.

Andy, like Maggie, tried countless diets but failed to keep the weight off. At his heaviest, he was 505 pounds and had to have most of his size 64 clothing made by his mother to fit his 6-foot-3-inch frame. Together, they had a combined weight of nearly 1,000 pounds.

Before getting married, a friend introduced Maggie to The Weigh Down Workshop, a faith-based weight loss program, which teaches people to conquer their addiction to food, as well as other substances and vices, by turning to God.

How has the weight loss changed their lives? Maggie, who now weighs 140 pounds and wears a size six, and Andy, who weighs 220 pounds and wears a size 36, say they had no idea their lives could be this good.

The Real Jesus

(chris kelly)

Yin & Yang

In terms of height they are worlds apart.

On one of the greatest days in history, the world's tallest man, Bao Xishun, shook hands with He Pingping who claims to be Earth's shortest.

While Mr Xishun, 56, towers above everyone at an astonishing 7.9ft, 19-year-old Mr Pingping is a mere 2.4ft high.

Bao Xishun, a herdsman from Chifeng, Inner Mongolia, was recently married in a traditional ceremony to a 28-year-old saleswoman from his hometown. At 5ft 6" Xia Shujian only comes up to his elbow and is half his age.

He claims he was of normal height until he was 16 when he experienced a growth spurt and reached his present height seven years later.

Mr Pingping was born nearby in Wulanchabu city, Inner Mongolia. His father claims he was only the size of an adult's palm at birth.

Stay Awake. Stay Alert. Stay Alive.

After more than 11 days without nodding off, Tony Wright crawled into bed in the happy belief that he had broken the world sleeplessness record by two hours. But the poor chap is in for a rude awakening...

His 266-hour feat of endurance will not feature in Guinness World Records because it has stopped acknowledging such attempts for health reasons.

To make matters worse, someone has already beaten Mr Wright himself by a full ten hours.

Mr Wright believed he was battling to beat a record of 264 hours set by American Randy Gardner in 1964, but before the ban was enforced, there was time for Toimi Soini, of Hamina, Finland, to set a new best of 276 hours recorded in the Guinness Book of Records.

As father-of-three Mr Wright slumbered yesterday, a friend said: "We have never heard of this. We have not come across it and as far as we knew the only record was the one set by Randy Gardner."

Monitored by a webcam and CCTV cameras at his local bar, Wright sustained himself with a "Stone Age" diet of raw fruit and vegetables. He drank tea and, to pass the time, played pool.

Exactly.

Calgon, take me away.

Go Fish

A Malaysian teacher has defended her move to punish 170 teenage girls by making them squat neck-deep in a fish pond, in a case that has sparked concerns about abuse in schools.

Wee Yim Pien, an English teacher and warden at a boarding school in Sarawak state on Borneo island, sent the girls into the pond for 30 minutes on Wednesday after they repeatedly ignored her warnings to stop throwing sanitary pads into toilet bowls.

Wee denied that the pond water was dirty, saying the water was often used for washing and the school had also conducted obstacle courses in the pond, the report said.

Lights In The Night

Come On Down!

The long-awaited answer to the biggest question in daytime television is "Who will take over the 'The Price Is Right'?"

The new host answered that question Monday night on "The Late Show With David Letterman," almost as an afterthought.

"It was like 15 minutes ago, they called me, it's a done deal," comedian Drew Carey said. "I'm the new host of 'The Price Is Right.'"

Carey takes on the daunting task of trying to fill the void left by the legendary Bob Barker. "I'm cool with it," Barker told The Associated Press after hearing Carey's remarks.

King Of The World

Larry King

In 1971, King was arrested for grand larceny, and pleaded no contest to one of 14 charges of passing bad checks.

What Happened?

Five days after being booked in connection with a May drunken driving charge, actress Lindsay Lohan was arrested early Tuesday morning on five charges -- including drunken driving and possession of a controlled substance.

When taken to the police station, the 21-year-old actress registered 0.12 and 0.13 in blood tests for alcohol levels, the spokeswoman said.

Officers also found a white powdery substance in Lohan's possession which was determined to be cocaine.

Crazy Cow 'El Loco'

I like to mooooo-ve it, mooooo-ve it.

Astronaut Humor

A spacewalking astronaut tossed two large chunks of junk off the international space station Monday, hurling the old equipment into orbit.

Clayton Anderson, a sportsman who enjoys officiating basketball games back on Earth, heaved a 1,400-pound, refrigerator-size ammonia tank away from the station. His first toss was a 200-pound camera mounting.

Mission Control declared the tank throw great and "right down the middle."

"Well, in that case, give Brad Lidge and Roy Oswalt a call and tell them I just hummed a 17,500-mph fastball," Anderson said, referring to the star pitchers for his hometown Houston Astros.

Hand-scaping

The women of Tiger Time Lawn Care offer to mow customers' lawns dressed in bikinis , a service that attracts more attention to the ladies than the lawns.

"Oh yeah, they honk and yell. They can do everything you can imagine," said employee Blair Beckman, 21. "You get the attention but you also get a tan, which I need," Beckman said.

Some customers sit in lawn chairs and have a beer while watching.

The three-month-old company is looking for a way to expand the service through the end of summer. "In the fall we'll go pick up leaves in the bikinis if need be," Lee Cathey said.

Cathey said there hasn't been any interest in a male version of the bikini lawn cut.

Interested? Check out the video:
http://www.wmcstations.com/Global/story.asp?S=6808391

Bait

Barry Hunter picked the skull fragment out of his net in December while trawling near the mouth of the River Tyne, about 280 miles north of London, police said in a statement.

Hunter turned the bone over to authorities, and forensic tests confirmed that it belonged to Brian Allison, one of two fellow fishermen who disappeared when their trawler sank during rough weather in the area on Nov. 17, 2004.

Police said Hunter and Allison were friends, but did not elaborate.

Allison and his brother Robert Temple were the only two occupants of the boat when it sank. The wreckage was later discovered, but Temple's body has never been found.

Anywhere But Here...

The Office

Right?

Little BIG Man

Cody Paul #5 - the kid with all the moves.

My Poop Dog

Debbie Hulleman's pet dog Pepper likes to chew things. She's gnawed on lipstick canisters, shampoo bottles, ball point pens, toothpaste and now the list includes nearly $750 in cash , gobbled right down.

"This is probably the worst," Hulleman said Thursday, recalling the nasty chore of recovering the money from vomit and, you guessed it, dog piles left in the yard.

While Hulleman and husband were on a four-day vacation in late June, she asked her mother in Oakdale, Minn., to take care of Pepper and Zach, the family's dogs. Pepper got into a purse belonging to a friend of her mother's and chewed the cash from an envelope.

Hulleman's mother recovered some of the money that Pepper spit out, thinking she had it all. But when Hulleman returned from the trip and went to clean up her dogs' mess outside, she noticed a $50 bill hanging from one pile.

The family recovered $647 and swapped it for fresh currency at a bank.

"It wasn't that bad. I soaked it and strained it and rinsed it. I just kept rinsing it and rinsing it. I had rubber gloves on of course," she said.

Quick Thinking

A 500-pound man injured while tubing down a shallow stretch of the St. Croix River was pulled to safety Tuesday by dozens of rescue workers who spent hours carrying him to a navigable part of the waterway.

Rike and three friends were floating down the river on the Minnesota border in inner tubes Monday afternoon when Rike's hit a rock and deflated.

Rike's group called 911 shortly after 8 p.m. to report that he was having chest pains. A paramedic who arrived by helicopter stabilized Rike, but the pilot couldn't take him to a hospital, saying he was too heavy.

As many as 50 rescuers on the ground responded, with the first reaching Rike about 9 p.m. Crews tried to get to Rike with boats and canoes, but the watercraft ran aground in shallow water.
Rescuers tried loading him into an aluminum boat, hoping to carry him over the rocky ground. But he was so heavy that they could move the makeshift stretcher only several feet downstream per hoist.

Finally, rescuers created a floating platform by lashing three canoes together and placing four boards across them.

Rescuers finally got Rike to the ambulance about 8:15 a.m. Tuesday, more than 12 hours after the 911 call.

Even though Rike weighs 500 pounds, the truck driver is "really pretty healthy," his mother said. This was the first time he had tried tubing.

Dream Traffic

A tractor-trailer hauling blocks of cheese erupted in flames early Thursday, turning much of its cargo into freeway fondue.

No one was hurt, but boxes containing hundreds of pounds of provolone, cheddar, American and other cheeses clogged the burned truck and littered the side of Interstate 80 north of downtown Sacramento.

Frank Barker said he tried to put out the flames with a fire extinguisher, but the fire was too big. He gave up and rescued his dog, who was traveling with him from Salt Lake City to the San Francisco Bay area.

2-on-1? I don't care.

Don't touch my girl.

The Sun's So Bright....

...I gotta wear shades.

MOOKIE!

Psycho Killer

"When I started writing this (I got help later), I imagined Alice Cooper doing a Randy Newman-type ballad. Both the Joker and Hannibal Lecter were much more fascinating than the good guys. Everybody sort of roots for the bad guys in movies." -David Byrne

"Qu'est-ce que c'est?", which translates in English to "What is that?".

Larvae

Doctors thought the strange, bleeding bumps on Aaron Dallas' head might be from gnat bites or shingles. Then the bumps started moving. A doctor found five active bot fly larvae living beneath the skin atop Dallas' head.

"I could hear them. I'd put my hand back there and feel them moving. I thought it was blood coursing through my head," Dallas told the Post Independent.

Dallas said he likely received the larval infestation while on a trip to Belize this summer. The larvae, which are about one-third the size of a penny, living in a pit 2- to 3- millimeters wide, were removed Thursday.

"When I saw him again, it was pretty obvious something else was going on," said Dr. Kimball Spence, who could see the spots moving on Dallas' head. "There's an open pit. You see a little activity, not necessarily the larvae, but a fluctuation of the fluid in the pit."

"It was weird and traumatic," said Dallas, of Carbondale. "I would get this pain that would drop me to my knees."

...And I Do My Little Turn On The Catwalk

Gisele Bündchen strutted her way to the top of the world's richest models list as decided by the online business site. She earned $33 million in the past year, and boasts what the site said are "more contracts than any other model on the planet."

Kate Moss clawed her way into the No. 2 spot, by earning $9 million.


And Heidi Klum, host of Bravo's fashion-forward "Project Runway," was close behind her with $8 million.

Check them all out:
http://www.nbc10.com/slideshow/13708657/detail.html?taf=phi

Worth Your Time...

Artie Lange on Conan O'Brien 07-17-07

My Poop House

A couple who kept a horse and seven dogs inside their home was arrested for endangering a 12-year-old child after officers found the floor covered in animal feces and rotting produce, authorities said.

While investigating a neighbor's complaint Monday, Modesto Police Animal Control Officer Jennifer Sol discovered the inside of Joe Silva and Nichole Surkala's house infested with flies so thick that Surkala's son had to sleep in a tent to escape them.

The child told her he slept in the tent inside his bedroom "because it was clean," according to Sol. Social workers removed him from the home and put him in protective custody, she said.

The couple rented out the miniature horse for children's parties, and the produce that littered the dwelling was used to feed the animal, said Sgt. Ed. Steele.

"There was produce strewn all over the house, and the animals were defecating all over the house," Steele said. "They were living in it. You couldn't walk anywhere without stepping on the stuff."

Let Me Talk To Samson

Wal-Mart said 425 of its stores will sell Biblical action figures aimed at Christian parents who prefer their children play with Samson, David or Noah rather than with a comic book character or other violent dolls.

Wal-Mart Stores spokeswoman Melissa O'Brien said the world's largest retailer believes there's demand for faith-based toys.

The toy line will be in some Wal-Mart shelves starting in August, mainly in the Midwest and South, but also in California and as far northeast as Pennsylvania.

The toys include a 3-inch figure of Daniel in the lion's den, a 12-inch talking Jesus doll and a 13-inch Samson action figure.

Hey Man, Your Mom Is Cool...

A mother charged with driving her 14-year-old son and six other juveniles to a skate park so they could attack another teenager pleaded not guilty Tuesday to murder.

Police said Eva Daley knew her son and the others planned to kill Jose Cano when she drove them to the park June 26. Cano, 13, died of stab wounds. Police said he had previously been involved in a dispute with the youths.

Steam Explosion NYC

Heard she rocked the whole city...

Everybody Okay?

The New York Fire Department said it received a call reporting an explosion at 5:56 p.m. More than 170 firefighters were dispatched to the site at Lexington Avenue near 41st Street.

Wacky Khaki

Do you think that people like Khaki pants so much because they're as close to being naked as we can get?

Just call them "Nude Pants".

Creed Thoughts

--A pinky’s always a pinky, but a pointer and a ring finger are pretty interchangeable if you need them to be.

--My favorite part of the newspaper is the fun little stories about the dead people and their relatives.

--Root beer floats. It does. I’ve tested it.

http://blog.nbc.com/CreedThoughts/

Jav Turkey

Javelin accident - Golden League Rome - July 13th 2007

Why-oming?

Why can't they ever do this BEFORE they kill innocent victims???

A trained sniper accused of gunning down his singer wife shot himself to death as investigators closed in on his hideout in Wyoming's remote back country, police said.

Police have found David Munis, 36, the estranged husband of a woman shot to death early Saturday by a self-inflicted gunshot wound .

All You Need To Know

-*-Ron dies.
-*-Lupin dies.
-*-Percy dies (this death occurs before the wedding, inevitably throwing events into chaos).
-*-Voldemort dies.
-*-Snape dies.

Details aren’t needed. Just say BELLATRIX KILLS RON!

Also...Harry Potter is gay: