"Feet First"

A depiction of frogs in a modern art sculpture that would make Kermit blush has also been condemned by Pope Benedict XVI and labeled as blasphemous.

The 4-foot wooden artwork in question is a crucified green frog holding a beer mug in one hand and an egg in the other, Reuters reported.

The board of the Museion Museum in Bolzano, Italy, met Thursday to decide whether to side with the pope and other "frog" critics, or with those who say it should be recognized as a work of art. They decided to keep it.

The Vatican letter said that the work "wounds the religious sentiments of so many people who see in the cross the symbol of God's love."

Pahl was so offended by “Feet First" that he went on a hunger strike to demand its removal and had to be taken to hospital this summer.

The sculpture does have its supporters as well.

"Art must always be free and the artist should not have any restrictions on freedom of expression," Reuters quoted Claudio Strinati, a superintendent for Rome's state museums.

...And Called It Macaroni

A British bride-to-be was in the hospital Wednesday night after swallowing a one-inch nail in a Tesco-brand macaroni.

Rebecca Shorten, 21, said she is in so much pain the wedding next week may be postponed. She ate the nail thinking it was a crunchy bit of pasta — then spotted two more in the dish.

Her fiancé Craig Stevens, 26, rushed her to hospital, where X-rays showed it was pointing down into her stomach. But medics told Shorten to avoid surgery and let nature take its course.

The personal assistant went home — but returned the next day after collapsing in agony.

The couple said Tesco had only offered a refund when they revealed the problem.

The couple said they were consulting lawyers. Tesco said it would investigate and had taken the Value Meal off shelves.

Meanwhile, a timber merchant said he found a live insect larva in a pack of Tesco nuts.

Equilibrium

Missing Man Found! (Drunk In Illinois)

Police in Illinois found a Connecticut man who was reported missing last year, but it remains a mystery why he left his wife and son.

Officers in Aurora, Ill., say they were responding to a complaint about an intoxicated man early Friday and that man turned out to be Samir Patel, who disappeared last October.

Police say a check of Patel's driver's license through a national database showed that he'd been reported missing by his family in Milford, Conn. Aurora police then notified Milford police.

Patel is in his late 30s and used to manage a convenience store. His wife had put up posters around town when he disappeared, and his co-workers offered a reward. Police say it isn't clear why Patel left Connecticut.

A Middle Finger From The Grave

A Brooklyn couple slain in their home last month spoke from the grave in drafted last wills, leaving a bizarre legacy for unloved ones they detested in life.

"To my brother who I know hopes to be in my will, well, here you are," chided Mark Schwartz, 50, as he bequeathed nothing to his estranged sibling, Robert, in an unsigned April 2006 draft.

In an earlier version, Schwartz had already left his brother "the sum of zero ($0.00) Dollars," zinging, "I believe this sum is fitting, as you are probably the most greedy person I know.

"With respect to the will dated April/May 1995, ... believe me, it's worthless, and just in case, I expressly void again," Schwartz said. "You are probably screaming and yelling by now.

But, "Robert, brothers are supposed to want each other to be the most they can be and make the most money they can. You, on the other hand, just sat in judgment of me and were always jealous.

"I, on the other hand, only wished you the best and to win the lottery."

Red Bull Tabby?

While most cats are known for their ability to land on their feet, some in China may soon be able to glide to safety on their mysterious wings.

A tabby from the Qingyan province in China recently sprouted a pair of fur-covered wings on his back during a hot-weather spell, the U.K.’s Daily Mail reported.

Immediately, the unique kitty became a spectacle to behold, as visitors flocked to see the unusual feline.

One cat owner, identified only as Feng, claimed her pet’s wings were the result of stress from too many females desiring to mate with him, the Mail reported.

“At first they were just two bumps,” she told the Mail. “But they started to grow quickly and after a month there were two wings.”

But the owner later grew fearful that the tabby would either be stolen by envious admirers or that it would fly away and decided to cut one of the two flappers off, World Entertainment News Network said.

Cats with wings can be explained through several scientific explanations, including leg deformities, huge mats of hair or a condition known as feline cutaneous asthenia or FCA, which causes the cat’s skin to grow in heavy folds on its back or shoulders, online magazine Cryptozoology reported.

Black Mamba

A nearly fatal bite by a poisonous snake led to the arrest of a man Wednesday for keeping 51 deadly cobras and mambas in his Tokyo apartment without permission, police said.

The illicit collection was discovered when Nobukazu Kashiwagi called for an ambulance after being bitten on a finger by one of his snakes.

Kashiwagi, aged 41, was trying to feed the snake when he was bitten in mid July. He was seriously ill in a Tokyo hospital for several weeks, but subsequently recovered. Police arrested Kashiwagi after he was discharged.

Kashiwagi kept the deadly snakes without permission from the Tokyo metropolitan government, the police spokesman said.

Video footage by public broadcaster NHK showed the snake cases were piled up in his small apartment room. One of the snakes was about six feet long.

Hungry For Carats

A house painter accused of taking a $7,000 diamond engagement ring from the condo he was working at apparently swallowed the evidence during a break from questioning at the police station, and it was caught on tape, police said Tuesday.

Kenny Narron, 44, of Richlands, N.C., was charged with theft and falsifying evidence. Doctors had to perform emergency surgery to get the 1.2-carat ring out. Narron was arraigned from his hospital bed.

Police say the ring had been hidden under a mattress in a condo in Merrimack that Narron had been hired to paint last month. The owner said he was hiding the ring for his brother, so his brother's girlfriend wouldn't see it until the time was right.

But the owner said one day, his 16-year-old son came home to find Narron coming out of the master bedroom, according to a police affidavit.

"The ring was kept under his mattress along with the paperwork ... he discovered his mattress askew and when he checked for the ring, he found it missing," the affdavit said.

Narron was questioned at the Hollis Police Department. When investigators left the room for a few minutes to make a few calls, a security camera in the room showed Narron swallowing the ring and putting a white jewelry box in a drawer. Police also said they came across torn up paperwork for the diamond.

Cow Pie

Somehow, cattle seem to know how to find north and south, say researchers who studied satellite photos of thousands of cows around the world.

Most cattle that were grazing or resting tended to align their bodies in a north-south direction, a team of German and Czech researchers reports in Tuesday's issue of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

The study sent Tina Hinchley, who with her husband Duane operates a dairy farm at the state of Wisconsin, to take a new look at an aerial photo taken of their farm a few years ago.

"The cows that were in the pasture were all over the place ... about two-thirds were north-south," Hinchley said.Two-thirds is close to what the researchers found in their look at 8,510 cattle in 308 pastures. In the study, 60 percent to 70 percent of cattle were oriented north-south, which Begall termed a "highly significant deviation from random distribution."

'Finger' back later for more useless information....

What's That In The Grass?

LOOK OUT!

Country Humor

Politicians are known for lame jokes. But when Otis "Bullman" Hensley tried a generations-old Appalachian jest on a woman and two girls at the grocery store, the family thought it was downright criminal.

Hensley, who earned notoriety for oddball antics as a longshot gubernatorial candidate, spent three days in jail in this eastern Kentucky coal town last week after being arrested over the wisecrack.

He could have faced as many as 10 years in prison, but a charge of attempted unlawful transaction with a minor was dismissed on Monday.

The ordeal began last week when Hensley's wife sent him to a local grocery store to buy ground beef. While there, Hensley encountered a woman with her two nieces, ages 11 and 13. "I offered to trade her a fattening hog for those girls," Hensley said. "I meant it as a joke. I've said it a million times. Most people get a kick out of it."

The woman didn't laugh. Instead, the family obtained a warrant for Hensley's arrest from the local prosecutor, claiming the comment was intended to entice the children into illegal sexual activity.

"I've heard many variations of that," said Jones, retired director of Berea College's Appalachian Center. "You might hear 'That's a good looking boy; I'd trade you a pocket knife for him' ... Political correctness has ruined country humor."

A Little Stroll

Unsanitary water kept Melbourne, Australia, native Hayden Adcock alive for 11 days while he was lost in a Laos jungle, but it also made him violently ill.

Adcock suffered multiple health problems after he was stranded on a short walk to a waterfall in a national park in the Khammouane province of Laos on July 31, The Australian Associated Press reported.

"He has lost a lot of weight," his mother said. "And he looks as if he has had a ski accident because he is all bandaged up with all his wounds. But it's a miracle he is alive and I do thank God for that."

Adcock has bleeding in his stomach that may require surgery and is unable to walk because of infected wounds covering his body. The injuries caused by wild animals are infested with maggots. He also developed infections from drinking contaminated ground water.

She said her son's high level of fitness, healthy diet and bushwalking experience had helped him survive. She said her son had asked if he needed a guide to visit the waterfall in the wild Khammouane province, but was told he could go alone.

After reaching the first waterfall in good time, he continued to a second when disaster struck. "He was very unlucky that a storm blew in and washed out all the tracks," Sturrock said.

Kicking The Bucket List

Dave Freeman, co-author of "100 Things to Do Before You Die," a travel guide and ode to odd adventures that inspired readers and imitators, died after hitting his head in a fall at his home. He was 47.

Freeman died Aug. 17 after the fall at his Venice home, his father, Roy Freeman, told the Los Angeles Times on Monday.

An advertising agency executive, Freeman co-wrote the 1999 book, subtitled "Travel Events You Just Can't Miss," with Neil Teplica. It was based on the Web site whatsgoingon.com, which the pair ran together from 1996 to 2001.

Freeman's relatives said he visited about half the places on his list before he died, and either he or Teplica had been to nearly all of them.

The book's recommendations ranged from the obvious — attending the Academy Awards and running with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain — to the more obscure — taking a voodoo pilgrimage in Haiti and "land diving" on the Island of Vanuatu, which Freeman once called "the original bungee jumping."

Vicious Beast

A 15-pound cocker spaniel-poodle mix named Pawlee scared off a mother bear and her two cubs Sunday morning after they strayed into his owners' backyard.

Whether his bark was worse than his bite, Pawlee's tactic worked just fine. These three bears got the hint and took off.

His barking drove the two cubs up a tree, and they eventually climbed down and hopped over a fence with their mother and retreated into the woods.

Safe Keeping

An 11-year-old Delaware girl has delivered a happy ending to a Pittsburgh couple's vacation nightmare.

While swimming in the surf in Ocean City, Md., Rowan Short of Brandywine Hundred found a Ziploc bag containing two credit cards, a Pennsylvania driver's license and more than $1,000 cash. Her mom used a cell phone to call 411, got the number of the driver named on the license, and placed a call to Elaine and Michael Chosky in Pittsburgh.

Michael Chosky says there was no hotel safe at the Ocean City spot where his family spent their vacation, so he kept his valuables with him in his swimsuit pocket. He says he was swimming in rough surf Aug. 14 when the bag disappeared.

Rowan found the bag 14 blocks away the next day.

Finger My Olympics

Why Women Live Longer Than Men

A man who grabbed a knife to try to get his two young children out of a locked car died when he fell on the blade, Charlotte police said.

The Charlotte Observer reported that 22-year-old Miguel Angel Rivera Lemus died Sunday afternoon at Carolinas Medical Center after being stabbed in the chest.

Charlotte-Mecklenburg police were investigating but said Lemus' death appears to have been an accident.

Lemus and his wife had dropped by their apartment briefly before planning an errand when they realized they had locked their children and keys in the car, authorities said.

The woman searched for spare keys and Lemus grabbed a large butcher knife he hoped to use to pry open a window, police said. Lemus fell down six stairs and landed on the knife, police said.

The woman got the children out with the spare keys.

Sitting Down On The Job

New York police said Friday a prostitute with only one leg was murdered in Brooklyn after a client hit her on the head and she fell out of her wheelchair, hitting her skull against a wall, the New York Post reported.

Elizabeth Acevedo, 38, was found unconscious in a 13th-floor hallway of the apartment building where she lived in the Boerum Hill neighborhood of Brooklyn.

Acevedo died Friday morning in the Long Island College Hospital after being removed from life support, the Post reported.

She wore a prosthetic leg, but also used a wheelchair after losing her leg in a train accident. The prostitute had 67 previous arrests for prostitution and drug charges

Investigators are looking for a suspect, who they believe was a client who hit Acevedo over the head with a heavy object.

Olympic Spirit

A Cuban taekwondo athlete and his coach were banned for life after Angel Matos kicked the referee in the face following his bronze-medal match disqualification.

Cuban coach Leudis Gonzalez offered no apology for Matos' actions during the men's over-80 kg match.

Matos was winning 3-2, with 1:02 in the second round, when he fell to the mat after being hit by his opponent, Kazakhstan's Arman Chilmanov. He was sitting awaiting medical attention when he was disqualified for taking too much injury time. Fighters get one minute, and Matos was disqualified when his time ran out.

Matos angrily questioned the call, pushed a judge, then pushed and kicked referee Chakir Chelbat of Sweden. Matos then spat on the floor and was escorted out.

"He was too strict," Gonzalez said, referring to the decision to disqualify Matos. Afterward, he charged the match was fixed, accusing the Kazakhs of offering him money.

A Little Liam For The Weekend

Just as the war of words between Noel Gallagher and rapper Jay-Z looks like it could be finally cooling off, the rock star’s brother has picked a new fight.

This time Oasis frontman Liam has hit out at the supporters of two of Britain’s biggest rock bands - Radiohead and Coldplay, branding their fans “boring and ugly”.

Never one to mince his words the mouthy Mancunian made the slur while describing how he has been toning down his party antics for a cleaner lifestyle.

The 35-year-old told how he has been swapping late nights for jogging ahead of the band’s big comeback following a three-year absence and the release of their new album Dig Out Your Soul.

He said: “I’ve mellowed, but not in the sense of liking Radiohead or Coldplay. I don’t hate them. I don’t wish they had accidents. I think their fans and boring and ugly and they don’t look like they are having a good time.”

But it was not just the music headed by frontman pros Thom Yorke and Chris Martin which was the target of the outspoken singer’s insults as Gallagher also admitted he does not care for any contemporary bands.

He told The Times: “Not interested. I play The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Kinks, Neil Young, The Sex Pistols. Maybe a bit of The [Stone] Roses. Don’t like modern bands. Topman music, innit?”

Speaking of how he had been focusing on his fitness levels he said: “Last week me voice was a bag o’ shit, I had to have a word with meself.

“I want this to be a success. I want this to be great. I though I’m going to have to tone it down a bit. Load of big fat lines, load of cigarettes, staying up late, talking same shit you talked the night before and the night before that, that’s not good for it [his voice].”

He added: “When it’s good, no one can touch me. And when it’s bad, it’s a bit better than Pete Doherty’s.”

Shinobi Warriors

Clifton police said they arrested two men dressed liked ninjas and armed with Asian martial arts weapons who said they were sending a warning to drug users.

Calling themselves "Shinobi warriors," the men wore black SWAT-type vests and carried knives, throwing stars, swords, nunchucks and a bow and arrows.

After being arrested early Wednesday in a car on Route 46, the men said they were delivering warning letters to drug dealers and drug users urging them to stop their "impure" activities.

The letters said those who persisted would be stopped with "justified yet, merciful force."

No Sir, Normally Crocs Eat People...

Bangladesh police say a crocodile killed and ate a 25-year-old after he waded into a pond next to a shrine in an attempt to receive the animal’s blessing, news.com.au reported Friday.

Inspector Humayun Kabir said Rubel Sheikh and his mother traveled to the Muslim Khan Jahan Ali shrine, where hundreds of people visit every day to offer hens and goats to the crocodiles living there.

Part of the shrine ritual involves bathing in the water with the crocodiles, but devotees are very rarely approached by the animals, according to Kabir.

"He went into the pond hoping to be blessed when a crocodile attacked him and dragged him into the deep part of the pond,'' Kabir told the Australian Associated Press.

"This is a very unusual incident. Normally, the crocodiles are very friendly and do not harm people.''

Puppy Power

A newborn baby that was abandoned outdoors by her 14-year-old mother during the Argentina winter was found safe Thursday after being kept alive and warm by a mother dog and her brood of puppies, Reuters reported.

Farmer Fabio Anze found the naked baby near the city of La Plata, Argentina, lying amongst his dog China’s puppies. The baby was taken to the hospital after Anze called the authorities.

Hospital officials said the baby was only a few hours old when she was found, and was in good health despite several bruises.

Temperatures at night around La Plata, 40 miles south of Buenos Aires, this time of year are cold, but not freezing.

Police have located the 14-year-old mother. It is not known whether she left her baby in the dog's pen or whether the dog found the baby outdoors and carried it in to join her puppies, Reuters reported.

Boyz In The Hood

Dynamite Hack is a post-grunge band, formed in Austin, Texas in 1997 taking their name from a line in the film Caddyshack in which Carl Spackler (Bill Murray) describes the marijuana he is smoking as "dynamite hack" to Ty Webb (Chevy Chase).

A Crowd Favorite...

A 33-year-old man who authorities say wore a "World's Greatest Dad" T-shirt to have sex with what he believed was a 14-year-old girl has been sentenced to three to 20 years in prison.

Lottery Genius?

A woman and her accountant husband who claims he's developed a formula for lottery picks have each claimed $350,000 jackpots — twice.

Verlyn and Judith Adamson claimed two $350,000 jackpots on Monday because each held a winning ticket in the state SuperCash drawing last Saturday. They didn't mention at the time that they also held two more of the winning tickets.

They claimed those jackpots Thursday. All four were purchased at different locations, but with the same numbers and for the same drawing. Their winnings now amount to $1.4 million, or about $955,000 after taxes.

The Adamsons left a voice message on their phone saying they wouldn't have any public comment and referring any
questions to their lawyer Scott Thompson.

Verlyn Adamson said earlier in the week that he's a big fan of math puzzles. He claims he developed a formula for lottery picks, but his winnings have been small until now.

Thompson said the Adamsons are "exploring patent protection" for the equation.

Jon?...Jon, Is That You?

The Cheatin' Chinese

A determined U.S. computer expert has delved into cached pages on the Internet to unearth Chinese official documents showing a gymnast who took gold in the uneven bars competition, edging the U.S.'s Nastia Liukin, may indeed be underage.

She may not look as if she has reached the minimum competing age of 16, but China said her passport, issued in February, gives her birthday as Jan. 1, 1992. The International Olympic Committee said proof from her passport is good enough.

He tried the cache of Chinese search engine Baidu. There, he found that Baidu lists two spreadsheets in He's name, both giving her date of birth as January 1, 1994 — making her 14 years and 220 days old and too young to compete at the Beijing games.

“My real age is 16," He said when asked by journalists about the debate. "I don’t care what other people say. I want other people to know that 16 is my real age.” When asked how she spent her 15th birthday, she paused and then said: “I was with my team. It was an ordinary day.”

Just nine months before the Olympics, the Chinese government’s Xinhua news agency gave He’s age as 13. Officials have since dismissed that report, saying Xinhua had never been given her age and made a mistake.

My Little Pink Fishin' Rod

David Hayes' granddaughter just asked him to hold her Barbie rod and reel while she went to the bathroom.

Seconds later he landed the state record channel catfish at 21 pounds, 1 ounce.

Alyssa's father had bought the pink Barbie fishing rod for Christmas and she had caught a few bluegill before her grandfather hauled in the catfish.

The Winston-Salem Journal reported the catch Aug. 5 in eastern Wilkes County has been certified as a record by the North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission.

Hayes and his granddaughter have been fishing in the pond behind his house since she was big enough to hold a pole.

Hayes says his granddaughter worried he would break her rod. He landed the 21-pound fish on a 6-pound test line. It was 32 inches long, 2 inches longer than the rod.

It's So Hard To Say Goodbye

A gorilla at a zoo in the German city of Muenster is refusing to let go of her dead baby's body several days after it died of unknown causes.

Allwetter Zoo spokeswoman Ilona Zuehlke says the 3-month-old male baby died on Saturday, but its 11-year-old mother continues to carry its body around.

Zuehlke says such behavior is not uncommon to gorillas. Zuehlke says the mother, named Gana, "is mourning and must say goodbye."

Signs were posted near Gana's enclosure Wednesday to explain the situation to visitors. A staff member is also present to answer questions.

The baby was named Claudio and was Gana's second baby. She had a female baby in 2007 that now lives at the Stuttgart Zoo.

CSI: Scooby Doo

Just Trying To Get To Work

The commute to work turned into some serious monkey business for Japanese commuters after a slippery simian showed up at a Tokyo train station.

A standoff developed at the Shibuya Station after the wild monkey was spotted near ticket gates. About 30 cops, some with nets, chased the animal as commuters snapped photos with their cell phones.

The monkey escaped the officers and is still at large.

Doppel(Mookie)Ganger

A genetic abnormality gave Yoda, of Downers Grove, Ill., four ear flaps instead of two.

Ted and Valerie Rock first spied the little guy in 2006 at neighborhood bar on the South Side of Chicago before a Bears game. He was the last of a litter of eight put up for adoption by the bar's owner.

The Rocks, who had lost their cat of 20 years just 6 months prior, saw something special in the gray kitten and decided to take him home.

The abnormality can cause hearing impairments, though Rock said several veterinarians have given Yoda a clean bill of health.

"He is perfectly normal, hears well, energetic, cute little cat," Rock said. "Very friendly, very social."

All That Glitter's.......Is Old

Gary Glitter, 64, was released from a Vietnamese prison on Tuesday after serving two years and nine months of a three-year sentence for committing "obscene acts" involving two girls, ages 10 and 11.

He flew to Hong Kong on Wednesday night; earlier, he refused to return to England upon being denied entry into Thailand, a Thai immigration official said.

But a spokeswoman for the British Foreign Office says Chinese authorities have refused to allow him into Hong Kong. She says it is unclear what will happen to Glitter next and that his current status is a matter for the Chinese authorities.

"Rock and Roll (Part 2)" — also known as "The Hey Song" because of the only intelligible word in the anthem — has often been played at U.S. sporting events, particularly when the home teams scores or wins.

After Glitter's conviction in March 2006, the NFL asked teams to stop playing the song. Subsequently, some professional and college teams in the U.S. and Canada have discontinued its use.

In his 1970s heyday, Glitter performed in glittery jumpsuits, silver platform shoes and bouffant wigs. He sold 18 million records and recorded a string of British top-10 hits. "Rock and Roll (Part 2)" cracked the top 10 in the United States.

Long & Lost

A British man who did not tell anyone he was going on vacation to Australia came home to find they were mourning his death.

The confusion began in June, when 49-year-old Michael O'Neill, from Middlesbrough, England, made a last-minute decision to head Down Under without telling a soul.

His neighbors grew worried and called police, who broke into his flat and found no evidence of his whereabouts.

The situation grew even worse last week when his friends saw a death notice in a local newspaper. By an incredible coincidence, another Michael O'Neill from Middlesbrough had died — and both have brothers named Kevin and Terry.

"I went out on June 2 to stay with a friend and when I got back last Monday I found my door had been smashed in," the living O'Neill told Britain's Daily Telegraph. “My neighbors thought I had died so they got in touch with police who came and broke the door down.”

She Calls Me Goliath...

...and I wear the David mask.

I Still Believe

The excitement over a supposed Bigfoot body that built all last week collapsed over the weekend as an independent investigator found out it was all fake.

SearchingforBigfoot.com owner Tom Biscardi paid an "undisclosed sum" to Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, the two Georgia men who say they found the body, for their frozen corpse and the privilege of trotting them out in front of TV cameras.

In a long statement on SearchingforBigfoot.com, Kulls reveals what he found early Sunday morning Eastern time as the body thawed out.

"I extracted some [hair] from the alleged corpse and examined it and had some concerns," Kulls writes. "We burned said sample and said hair sample melted into a ball uncharacteristic of hair."

"Within the next hour of thaw, a break appeared up near the feet area. ... I observed the foot which looked unnatural, reached in and confirmed it was a rubber foot."

The Biscardi team immediately went into crisis mode. Biscardi called Whitton and Dyer at their California hotel. They admitted it was a hoax and agreed to sign a promissory note at a meeting set for 8 a.m. Pacific time at the hotel. But when Biscardi got there, he "found that they had left."

Barr None

Roseanne Barr slams Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in a post on her Web site...

"Your evil spawn Angelina Jolie and her vacuous hubby Brad Pitt make about $40 million a year in violent, psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children, trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more," Roseanne writes in a post titled "Jon Voight."

She also attacks the actress for recently saying she is undecided about the presidential election.

"Miss Jolie says she likes [John] McCain too and hasn't decided who to endorse....huh? Aren't you supposed to be somewhat enlightened, or do you not know that the African daughter you hold in every picture had parents who suffered and died because of the Republican party's worldwide economic assault on Africa over the last few decades since Reagan?"

Roseanne writes that "it might be good for your Asian and African children's self-esteem to know you support" Barack Obama, a man of color, "for the leader of the free world."

She signs off: "Now go back to making your movies about women who love to handle big guns that shoot hundreds of people to death."

Yesterday's Lunch Break...

Happy To Be(ar) Home

A stolen bear cub is back with his brother at a South Carolina animal park after being snatched and put on display at a truck stop.

The Herald-Journal of Spartanburg reports that 31-year-old John Chadwick Montgomery was charged Tuesday with third-degree burglary and grand larceny.

Authorities say Montgomery took the 7-month-old cub from the Hollywild Animal Park on Saturday night. Workers say he planned to take a monkey but opted for the bear after another monkey attacked him.

Montgomery took the bear to a truck stop and charged people $1 each to pet the animal. The bear was returned to the park unharmed.

Krazy Kitten

Letting The "Old Girl" Go

The owner of a 1991 Chevrolet Silverado that's traveled more than 1 million miles is parting with what he affectionately calls his "old girl."

Frank Oresnik said his pickup with 1.03 million miles goes on sale on eBay on Thursday night. The minimum bid is $30,000 and the auction continues for 10 days.

The 58-year-old northern Wisconsin man says he wants his pickup to go to someone who can display it because it is so unique.

He hopes it sells for more than $100,000. (!?!)

He says the truck has had four radiators, three gas tanks and five transmissions but the engine is still original.

How Much Is Dat Der Fancy Truck?

An Ohio man who says he doesn't trust paper money has delivered enough coins to cover half the price of a brand new pickup truck.

Employees at a dealership in the Cincinnati suburb of Springdale say 70-year-old James Jones plunked down 16 coffee cans full of coins Tuesday for a new Chevrolet Silverado.

Salesman David Crisswell says employees spent 90 minutes counting the collection of dimes, quarters, half-dollars and dollar coins, which covered half the $16,000 price of the pickup.

Jones and his wife, Betty, wrote a check for the other half of the cost.

Jones' son says his dad has always preferred to pay with coins. Dennis Jones says he's most amazed that his penny-pinching father decided to replace his 1981 pickup, which struck his father when it’s parking brake failed last year, putting him in a hospital.

Age Verification Unit

A man suspected of posing as a police detective and telling an adult novelty shop to give him free X-rated videos so he could check for underage performers was arrested Tuesday, authorities said.

Drew Libby, 33, was arrested on suspicion of impersonating an officer, possession of an illegal weapon and possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

Investigators said they believe Libby made three unsuccessful attempts to get free videos from the store, showing a badge and leaving a business card from the Longmont police "age verification unit." There is no such unit, police said.

Libby was identified by a police officer and tipsters after photos were distributed from a surveillance camera in the store.

British Wit

Britain's second-largest city, Birmingham, has a new skyline, only it belongs to its Alabama namesake. Birmingham City Council distributed 720,000 leaflets that praised residents for exceeding recycling targets, carrying a message that read: "Thank You Birmingham."

The message appeared stamped across a photograph of the city's skyline. But the photo was not of Birmingham, England, but of Birmingham, Alabama.

It's the second time British officials have mistakenly used images of Birmingham, Alabama. Three lawmakers who represent Birmingham at the European Parliament accidentally used a picture of the U.S. city on their Internet site in January.

"Its human error," said Birmingham City Council spokesman Kris Kowalewski. "We accept that the wrong photo was used, but the text and detail contained in the leaflet is wholly correct."

Have It Your Way...Or His

Several Burger King employees in Ohio are looking for new jobs after an Internet video surfaced of one worker bathing in a restaurant sink, WDTN.com reported Tuesday.

The video, which was posted on MySpace.com by an employee calling himself “Mr. Unstable,” shows the teen taking a nude bubble bath in a large stainless steel sink as other employees and a store manager looked on, WDTN.com reported.

All of the employees involved were fired. Burger King’s corporate office released the following statement:
“Burger King Corp. was just notified of this incident and is cooperating fully with the health department. We have sanitized the sink and have disposed of all other kitchen tools and utensils that were used during the incident. We have also taken appropriate corrective action on the employees that were involved in this video. Additionally, the remaining staff at this restaurant is being retrained in health and sanitation procedures.”

“That's just, it's wrong. It's a place where families come to eat," said Crystal Dodge, who used to eat at Burger King all the time.

See it here, now: http://www.wdtn.com/global/story.asp?s=8825514

Sandy "Manute" Allen

The world’s tallest woman, Sandy Allen, died early Wednesday morning at a nursing home in her hometown of Shelbyville, Ind. She was 53.

No cause of death has been released, but a family friend said Allen had been sick for several months. She had been hospitalized for a recurring blood infection, along with diabetes, breathing troubles and kidney failure, Rita Rose said.

Allen, who was 7-foot-7, is listed by the Guinness Book of World Records as the tallest living woman, and has appeared in the publication since the mid-1970s.

Her height was due to a tumor in her pituitary gland that caused it to release growth hormones uncontrollably, according to the world record book. At the age of 22, she underwent surgery to correct the condition.

Pets

Some Big Ass Feet

Two Northern California men and two Georgians say they've got a body, a photo and DNA evidence pertaining to the elusive forest-dwelling man-ape — and that they'll reveal all at a press conference in Palo Alto, Calif., on Friday.

"I think you'll find that this is the real deal," Robert Barrows of Redwood City, Calif., told the Bay City News local wire service.

Matthew Whitton, a cop in Clayton County, Ga., and his friend Rick Dyer, a former corrections officer, say they recently found the body in the woods of northern Georgia.

Veteran Bigfoot tracker Tom Biscardi said he's examined the body, and that scientists will get their chance soon.

Unbridled Spirit

A Kentucky college student has hired a lawyer after she was escorted out of a mall by security on Sunday because her dress was deemed too short.

Kymberly Clem, a 20-year-old student at Eastern Kentucky University, wore the dress Sunday after purchasing it from the mall in Richmond the previous day, the Richmond Register reported Tuesday. After just a few minutes inside of the mall, a security guard approached her and expressed concerns over the length of the garment.

According to MyFOXBoston, the guard informed her that several female patrons had complained that she was disrupting their shopping experience because their husbands were “checking her out.” ---Ha Ha!

“He made me turn all the way around while he stared me up and down,” she told the Register “The only thing he said was that other people didn’t like the way I looked, so he wanted me to leave.”

While Clem has not yet filed suit against any entity, she has hired local defense attorney Wes Browne to represent her in a possible case, the Register said.

Back To Reality...

...and a sad one at that.

Damn, Bernie - We'll miss ya.

Still Hungover

But at least we have this HANGOVER MONKEY!

To Neil!

Nothing but the best...

Meet Me At The Mission At Midnight

Nurse Dick

A hospital had the right to fire a male nurse for having consensual sex with a patient two days after she underwent heart surgery, a state appeals court ruled Thursday.

The patient had double bypass surgery at Temple University on July 13, 2006, and had sex with nurse Richard Baldwin sometime around 4 a.m. on July 15, according to the opinion.

Hospital investigators said the patient indicated she was attracted to Baldwin and that the medications she was taking had nothing to do with what happened.

Baldwin testified before the arbitrator that he did not have sex with the woman, but investigators said he told them that the woman had come on to him and that he was being fired for having consensual sex.

Even if it was consensual, the sex act was a violation of state nursing standards and hospital policy, hospital officials argued.