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Tricky

Describe Yourself In 5 Words...

A legislative candidate from Wisconsin can't use a profane, racially charged phrase to describe herself on the ballot, an election oversight board decided Wednesday.

Ieshuh Griffin, an independent running for a downtown Milwaukee seat in the state Assembly, wants to use the phrase, "NOT the 'whiteman's b----.'"

But the state's Government Accountability Board voted to bar that wording, agreeing with a staff recommendation that it is pejorative and therefore not allowed.

State law allows independent candidates to have five words describing themselves placed after their names on the ballot as long as it's not pejorative, profane, discriminatory or includes an obscene word or phrase.

Griffin, who is black, argued her case to the five white, retired judges on the board that regulates elections. She said the phrase was protected free speech.

"It's a freedom of expression," she said. "It's not racial. It's not a slur."

She convinced three of the judges that the wording should be allowed, but two said it should not. One judge was absent, and Griffin needed four votes to succeed. Griffin said she intends to seek an injunction in federal court.

Board member Thomas Cane, a retired state appeals court judge, said he didn't find the wording to be "particularly offensive."

Griffin said her statement wasn't directed at any one individual but the government as a whole. The b-word was referring to a female dog that rolls over, she said.

"I'm not making a derogatory statement to a group of people or an ethnic group," she told the board. "I'm saying what I am not. Everyone I spoke with, elderly and young, understand my point of view."

The phrase was included on nomination papers Griffin circulated to get the 200 signatures needed to be on the Nov. 2 ballot. Griffin, who described herself as a "30ish" community activist, will still appear as an independent candidate.

T.P. Gun

A North Carolina man faces a felony charge after police said he shot his wife with a wad of toilet paper stuffed into a gun.

Multiple media outlets reported Wednesday that a 38-year-old man was charged with assault with a deadly weapon. Rockingham County sheriff's deputies said he shot his wife after she returned to their home after midnight on Tuesday.

Rockingham County Sheriff's Department spokesman Dean Venable told WGHP that the man loaded a black powder pistol with toilet paper, then fired the weapon at his 55-year-old wife, who was in bed.

His wife suffered a powder burn from the gunshot and was treated at a hospital.

Bridget The Midget

A Stoughton, MA, police officer is accused of leaving his beat to attend a special appearance of "Bridget The Midget," the woman billed as "the world's smallest porn star."

Camera Phone - Shown!

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It's Not Easy Being Green...

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South African Jumping Whales

A 33-foot southern right whale soared out of the water off Cape Town, South Africa, and landed on a couple's boat, destroying it. But reports indicate that the 40-ton beast was provoked into the attack -- and local officials are investigating.

The couple, Ralph Mothes and Paloma Werner, posted pictures of the incident on a Facebook page associated with their company, Cape Town Sailing Academy.

The couple detailed the incident in a post on the social networking site:

"While taking some pictures we decided to had back when a southern right whale, between 11 and 14 m long, breach about 100 meters away from us and then suddenly breach about 10 meters from us and then on us. We where sailing had no engine of so we could not even take any action. Scary!"

Mothes said his 32-foot steel boat had held up well, sustaining no no structural damage despite the massive bulk of the right whale.

Reports suggest that the couple's harassing behavior may have incited the whale, however, leading the local Department of Environmental Affairs to launch an investigation. Several people came forward to say a boat had broken the law by approaching the whale, reported one local news agency.

The couple tells a different story. Because this particular species of whale navigates by sound -- and has poor eyesight -- it may have simply not heard the sailboat, which had its motor off.

“Our boat's engine was off and so the whale just didn't know we were there," Paloma Werner told the BBC.

"We were just the wrong boat, in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Werner and her partner Ralph reportedly first saw the whale in the distance. They floated for an hour watching. "It appeared about 120 meters away from our boat and then it went under the water again,” she told the BBC.

"A few moments later, I saw it resurface just 10 meters away. Suddenly I heard my partner shout and when I looked around, I saw the huge thing breaching on to the deck.

"Instinctively, I took cover as the mast came crashing down. I saw my partner, Ralph, dive for cover behind the yacht's wheel. Then the whale slid down the side of the boat and back into the water."