Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Dirty Dog

Muslims in the Scottish district of Tayside are outraged by the appearance of a wide-eyed, 6-week-old puppy on postcards distributed by the local police force, according to the Daily Mail.

Postcards showing police dog-in-training Rebel, a German shepherd born in early December, are causing a furor among the region’s Muslims who believe dogs are "ritually unclean," the Daily Mail reports.

The cute cards were meant to notify locals of a new telephone number for non-emergency phone calls but instead have become a flashpoint for a clash of cultures. Shopkeepers are refusing to display the offending ad and a Dundee city councilor is calling for an investigation.

Fill Her Up

Police in northern Kentucky arrested a woman who officers say traded sex for gasoline.

Police in Fort Wright set up a prostitution sting and said one of the suspects they arrested engaged in sex for a $100 gasoline card and other gifts.

Angela Eversole, 34, of Fort Wright is charged with prostitution and doing business without an occupational license.

Kenton County prosecutor Ken Easterling said it's sad when people are selling their bodies for gas.

How true, Ken. Sure, it’s hot....but sad. How true.

The Israel Swagger

A missing hedge fund swindler who faked his own suicide turned himself in to Massachusetts authorities on Wednesday.

Samuel Israel surrendered to police in Southwick, Mass., around 9 a.m., a month after etching the "MASH" theme song title, "Suicide Is Painless," in dust on the hood of his SUV and leaving it on an upstate New York bridge over the Hudson River.

Israel shown here entering custody in style- using The Mick Jagger Swagger- how pompous.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Wow. Moe. Wow.

A 42-year-old chimpanzee who is toilet-trained and can eat with a knife and fork is believed to be at large in a Southern California forest after escaping his cage.

The chimp called Moe disappeared Friday from Jungle Exotics, which trains animals for the entertainment industry.

The chimp wandered into a house next door, surprising construction workers who saw him head for a nearby mountain. A weekend search in the San Bernardino National Forest 50 miles east of Los Angeles came up empty.

"We think he may be hunkered down near a water source," said McCasland. "We think he's in a contained area a quarter-mile away but he's probably disoriented and the brush is extremely heavy."

St. James Davis brought Moe home from Tanzania in 1967 after the baby primate lost his mother to poachers. He and his wife treated Moe as their surrogate son, toilet-training him, teaching him to eat with a knife and fork and letting him sleep in their bed and watch TV.

Over the Davises' protests, Moe was taken to an animal sanctuary. But in 2005, when they took a cake to celebrate Moe's birthday with him, the couple was viciously attacked by two other chimpanzees who had escaped their cages.

The chimps nearly killed St. James Davis, chewing off his nose, testicles and foot and biting off chunks of his buttocks and legs, before the sanctuary owner shot the animals to death.

The couple, who have no children, broke down in tears at a press conference in Los Angeles. "What am I going to do?" sobbed LaDonna Davis.

"He meant the world to us," said St. James Davis. "He was the best man at my wedding."

Pot Calling The Kettle....

Vegetarian and PETA spokeswoman Pamela Anderson slammed Jessica Simpson on an Australian radio show for wearing a "Real Girls Eat Meat" T-shirt.

When asked her opinion on Simpson, who was photographed wearing the shirt in mid-June, Anderson called her a "bitch" and a "whore" and told the hosts of the "Kyle and Jackie O Show" that she was not referring to "actual cows and chickens, but was referring to, you know, men."

Simpson insiders reportedly told OK! magazine that the shirt was a subtle dig at boyfriend Tony Romo's ex Carrie Underwood, who is a vegetarian and has twice been named "World's Sexiest Vegetarian" by PETA.

Blue Book

The Times newspaper on Monday quoted examiner Peter Buckroyd as saying he gave a student — who wrote an expletive starting with f, followed by the word "off" — two points out of a possible 27 for an English paper.

"It would be wicked to give it zero because it does show some very basic skills we are looking for, like conveying some meaning and some spelling," Buckroyd was quoted as saying. "It's better than someone that doesn't write anything at all."

Buckroyd said the student would have received a higher mark if the phrase had been punctuated.

He said the expletive was used in 2006 by a student in response to the question: "Describe the room you are sitting in."

Pain Cave



...the bleeding part that I was just referring to...

Stop What You're Doing!!!

Angelina Jolie has gone into the hospital in the south of France where she expects to give birth to twins.

Nadine Bauer, a spokeswoman for the Lenval Hospital in Nice, said Jolie is fine and that everything is going well. She said the actress' admittance to the hospital's maternity wing had been planned for some time.

Hell's Kitchen


Sure, I'm about 5-6 weeks behind- but that's why God made the DVR.

Regardless of my ineptitude to keep current with television programming, this shit is funny....



'Matt' from Hell's Kitchen is not only funny to listen to.....but extemely funny to look at.



Good Morning

The sun is singing - The birds are shining
It's Tuesday...in a short week- so lift your glasses and I'll see you Friday!