What? ...It's Funny

"Airborne Pest"

The last member of Adolf Hitler's notorious inner circle has died at age 96, leaving behind instructions to publish a manuscript about his time spent alongside the German dictator, the Telegraph reported.

Fritz Darges was present for all major conferences, social engagements and policy announcements during World War II — and experts believe his memoir could disprove claims by some disputed historians that Hitler never directly ordered the extermination of the Jews, and that the "final solution" was the brainchild of SS chief Heinrich Himmler.

Darges rose to the rank of lieutenant colonel and thought Hitler was a genius. It was rumored that the dictator's sister-in-law Gretel Braun was interested in him, but he "didn't think he should become the brother-in-law of the Fuhrer."

In 1944, Darges' relationship with Hitler changed at a conference when Hitler ordered him to destroy a fly that buzzed around the room.

Darges suggested that, as it was an "airborne pest," the job should go to the Luftwaffe staff officer, Nicolaus von Below.

Enraged, Hitler dismissed Darges, yelling, "You're for the eastern front!!," and Darges was sent to combat.

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Meet Ludwig!

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H2- Oh No!

A Sacramento County jury has awarded $16.5 million to the family of a 28-year-old woman who died after participating in a radio station's water-drinking contest.

Jennifer Strange, a mother of three, died of acute water intoxication in January 2007 after the challenge to see which contestant could drink the most water without going to the bathroom. A Nintendo Wii video game system was the prize for winning the "Hold Your Wee for a Wii" contest.

On Thursday, jurors found Philadelphia-based Entercom Communications Corp. and its Sacramento subsidiary liable for the actions of its employees at Sacramento radio station KDND-FM. The station fired 10 employees after the death.

During the trial, Entercom argued that Strange should have known the contest could be dangerous.

Always Watching

"If it bleeds, we can kill it."

- Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Dobber"

A gunshot was fired at the New Jersey home of CNN's Lou Dobbs after a series of threatening phone calls earlier this month, the host told listeners on his nationally syndicated radio show.

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Dobbs, a fervent proponent of U.S. border enforcement, told listeners of "The Lou Dobbs Show" on Monday that the incident is part of an ongoing assault against anyone who opposes amnesty or leniency toward illegal immigrants.

Not To Be Confused With...

"Dauber"

The Battle Of The Babes

Yankees vs. Phillies

http://www.nypost.com/p/sports/yankees/yankees_babes_vs_phillies_babes_EWrlzdhuUVa4RKaKEhM7KP?photo_num=1

The World Series Defense

A rabid Philadelphia fan was busted yesterday for offering sex in exchange for World Series tickets, police said.

Susan Finkelstein, 43, was nabbed after allegedly soliciting an undercover Bensalem, Pa., cop who answered her innuendo-laced craigslist ad seeking the coveted ducats.

The married Finkelstein posted her ad -- with a subject line that read, "DESPERATE BLONDE NEEDS WS TIX (Philadelphia)" -- on Monday in the "tickets for sale/wanted" section.

Describing herself as a "Diehard Phillies fan" and "gorgeous tall buxom blonde," Finkelstein said she was "in desperate need" of two tickets to see the Phillies play the Yankees at Citizens Bank Park.

Then came the zinger: "Price negotiable -- I'm the creative type! Maybe we can help each other!"

The suggestive line caught the attention of a Web-trolling cop, who set up a meeting at a Bucks County bar.

The officer said he had one ticket, but when Finkelstein said she needed two, the cop said his brother might have an extra, Bucks County Public Safety Director Fred Harran told The Post.

"She offered to take care of both men," Harran said.

Asked what specific activities Finkelstein offered, Harran said, "Let's just say she wanted to go around the bases the other way."

The vivacious Finkelstein was cuffed and charged with prostitution, a misdemeanor.

Florida "Keys"

A murder suspect who left his car running in a Florida street couldn't get away because a woman took the keys from the ignition.

Now, 28-year-old Paul Gayle is being held at the Broward County Jail on charges of first-degree murder, attempted first-degree murder and armed burglary.

Police say a woman walking her dog called 911 Tuesday, telling the dispatcher she heard screams from inside a home so she took the keys from the running car because she wanted police to check the vehicle.

The unidentified woman stayed on the line with the 911 operator until officers arrived and arrested Gayle.

She-Male Surprise

T-shirts distributed to Orange County elementary students for a school fundraiser have been recalled after a parent discovered that the phone number printed on the back of the shirts was a sex chat line.

Linda Vista Elementary School Principal Jackie Howland says the shirts featured the school's mascot of a lion running with a 1-800 number written in words not digits.

The number was written as a cute slogan for the jog-a-thon event, but turned out to be a real phone line that was a she-male sex chat line.
Despite the shirt faux pas, Howland says the jog-a-thon raised $25,000 for student activities.

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Well....Some Of Us Are.

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LaFave

A former Florida teacher who had sex with a 14-year-old student wants to be allowed supervised contact with the children of her relatives and friends.

Former Tampa-area teacher Debra LaFave is serving seven years probation, and one of the conditions is a ban on contact with children. Her motion to ease that restriction is expected to be heard in court Thursday.

Lafave served more than 2 1/2 years of house arrest before being freed last year. She pleaded guilty in 2006 to two counts of lewd and lascivious battery for having sex with the boy in a classroom and her home.

The case became tabloid fodder at several turns. LaFave had posed in skimpy outfits for modeling shoots, and her lawyer once suggested the blonde was too attractive to go to jail.

Religion 101

The Frillies - Ha!

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/20091027_N_Y__Post_mocks_Phillies_as_Frillies.html

A Lighter Shade Of Grayson

Florida Rep. Alan Grayson called an aide to Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke a "K Street whore" during a radio interview that aired last month, Roll Call reported.

According to the audio posted on YouTube, Grayson, a Democrat, reportedly said on the Alex Jones radio show, "Here I am, the only member of Congress who actually worked as an economist. And she’s, this lobbyist, this K Street whore, is trying to teach me about economics."

Grayson, a first term congressman, was allegedly referring to Bernanke adviser Linda Robertson, who Grayson said had headed up Enron Corp.'s lobbying shop in Washington, D.C., the newspaper reported.

A Democratic aide of Grayson's later defended his statement, telling the newspaper, "The Congressman’s choice of the words referred to her career as a lobbyist and her history of promoting whomever and whatever pays."

"Congressman Grayson was an economist and believes she is not qualified to attack complex financial reform policies," the aide reportedly said.

The remarks are the latest controversy for Grayson, who just last month said Republicans' health care plans were intended for Americans to "die quickly."

Grayson, who is Jewish, was also reprimanded by the Anti-Defamation League for calling the current health care system a "holocaust in America."

Daveheart

The Great White Out

A blue, cross-like design emblazoned on T-shirts at Penn State University has some critics seeing red.

The shirts — intended to foster school spirit — sport a vertical blue line down the center with the words "Penn State White Out" emblazoned across the chest, forming a design that some say resembles a cross. The back of the shirt depicts the same blue line obscured by the words, "Don't be intimated … It's just me and 110,000 of my friends." Roughly 30,000 of the shirts have been sold.

Penn State says it has received six complaints about the shirt, including one from the Anti-Defamation League's Philadelphia branch, from people who say it connotes a Christian cross. The logo design also has become the focus of controversy in the student newspaper, "The Daily Collegian," which has received several letters to the editor on both sides of the issue.

Students can purchase the shirts when they buy season tickets for the university's nationally ranked football program or during the football season at the campus bookstore and other stores. The shirts are typically worn at Penn State's annual "White Out" game, at which a crowd of 100,000 screaming Nittany Lions fans creates a virtual sea of white at Beaver Stadium.

"Six complaints is not a controversy," Mahon wrote Foxnews.com. "Students submit shirt designs to the student paper each year. Students then vote for their favorite design and they are sold in the campus bookstore."

Mahon said the design was based on the single blue stripe on the football team's helmets and will not be pulled from store shelves as some have asked. "The shirts have sold out and no changes are planned," he said.

Pliosaur

Dinosaur experts in Dorset, England, are examining the fossilized skull of a sea monster so large they say it could have eaten a Tyrannosaurus rex for breakfast.

The fossil head is 8 feet long, suggesting that the beast measured up to 54 feet from the tip of its massive, crocodile-like snout to the end of its muscular tail, making it one of the largest specimens ever found.

The skull belongs to a pliosaur, one of a group of giant aquatic reptiles which roamed the warm seas over what is now southern Britain 150 million years ago.

It was spotted protruding from an unstable patch of cliff by Kevan Sheehan, a local fossil hunter, after being exposed by a rockfall. He spent four years going back day after day and painstakingly managed to uncover it.

Experts hope that the rest of the pliosaur's body may lie hidden in the cliff, equally well preserved. The exact spot, in the 95 mile stretch of coastline dubbed the Jurassic Coast, is being kept secret to deter amateur hunters.

Zombie Punch

Iowa City police are investigating an early morning assault in which a man accused another of being a zombie, then punched him twice.

Police say the assault occurred at 1:17 a.m. Sunday at an Iowa City restaurant south of the University of Iowa campus.

A man was ordering food when he was approached by another man who called him a zombie, then hit him in the eye. When the victim tried to call police on his cell phone, the man punched him again, breaking his nose.

The man then ran out a back door.

The victim was taken by ambulance to a hospital.

All In The Family

America's sweetheart, the actress Sandra Bullock, is being dragged into an unpleasant legal battle to prove that she is a better parent than her husband’s former wife, the star of more than 100 pornographic movies, the Times of London reported.

Bullock is backing claims by her husband Jesse James, the television celebrity, that they have made a good home for Sunny, his five-year-old daughter.

His ex-wife Janine Lindemulder, 40, star of such video titles as Mrs Behavin’, Sleeping Booty and Dyke Diner, disagrees. She has just been released from a six-month prison sentence for tax evasion.

When she was in jail in Oregon she reportedly sent her former husband a bitter text message that read: “U win. Sandra finally has her baby — congratulations.”

The tattooed blonde remains in a halfway house in Los Angeles until the end of this year when she can seek custody of her daughter.

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Lobster Bisque!

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Zoobilee Zoo

Yeah - that's right.

Kid "Rock"

A 5-year-old Romanian boy has made the Guinness Book of Records after performing an incredible physical stunt.

The Daily Mail reports that Giuliano Stroe, who has been lifting weights since he was 2, set the record for the fastest ever 10-meter (33 feet) hand walk with a weight ball between his legs.

Stroe performed the stunt in front of a cheering live audience, and has become an Internet sensation as hundreds of thousands of people have watched the clip of him performing the stunt on YouTube.

Giuliano's father Iulian, 33, said he has been taking Giuliano with him to the gym ever since he was born, but he is careful not to push Giuliano too hard.

"He is never allowed to practice on his own, he is only a child and if he gets tired we go and play," Iulian said.

Giuliano is drawing comparisons to another child bodybuilder — Richard Sandrak . Nicknamed Little Hercules, Sandrak was declared The Strongest Boy In The World at age 3 in 1995, and could bench press 210 pounds at the age of 6.

The Sad Death Of A Mermaid

Shiloh Pepin, a girl who was born with fused legs, a rare condition often called "mermaid syndrome," and gained a wide following on the Internet and national television, has died. She was 10.

Doctors had predicted she would only survive only for days after her birth at the most, but the girl, described by her mother as "a tough little thing," died at Maine Medical Center on Friday afternoon, hospital spokesman John Lamb said. She had been hospitalized in critical condition for nearly a week.

Being born with "mermaid syndrome," also known as sirenomelia, meant that the Kennebunkport girl had only one partially working kidney, no lower colon or genital organs and legs fused from the waist down.

Some children who have survived sirenomelia have had surgery to separate their legs, but Shiloh did not because blood vessels crossing from side to side in her circulatory system would have been severed. She had received two kidney transplants, the last one in 2007.

Bong Gone Wrong

Bong water can count as a controlled substance, the Minnesota Supreme Court ruled Thursday in a decision that raises the threat of longer sentences for drug smokers who fail to dump the water out of their pipes.

In a 4-3 decision Thursday, the state's highest court said a person can be prosecuted for a first-degree drug crime for 25 grams or more of bong water that tests positive for a controlled substance.

The decision, which reverses two lower court rulings, came in the case of Sara Peck. Items seized during a search of her Rice County home in 2007 included a glass bong — a type of water pipe often used to smoke drugs — that contained 37 grams — about 2 1/2 tablespoons — of a liquid that tested positive for the presence of methamphetamine.

The Supreme Court said that unambiguously counts as a drug "mixture" under the wording of state law and sent the case back to Rice County District Court for further proceedings. The decision, authored by Justice G. Barry Anderson, noted that the liquid wasn't plain clear water, but had a pink color and fruity odor, and that a narcotics officer had testified that drug users sometimes keep bong water to drink or inject later.

The statute defines a drug "mixture" as "a preparation, compound, mixture, or substance containing a controlled substance, regardless of purity." When the language of a statute is unambiguous, the high court said, precedents prohibit courts from disregarding the letter of the law under the pretext of pursuing the letter of the law.

Smoothed Out Version..

The Windows 7 Whopper

Things always seem over the top in Japan, from the cartoons to camcorders and cell phones. It's almost no surprise that Microsoft has partnered with Burger King to sell a gigantic hamburger there.

The Windows 7 Whopper consist of seven stacked beef patties that measure over 5 inches in height, and the whole thing costs an appropriate ¥777 (or $8.55). It's available for seven days only, completing the run of sevens.

Microsoft is hoping for a fresh start with Windows 7, after a poor reception for the Vista, the previous version of the software that runs most of the world's personal computers.

Microsoft has a reputation for quirky ad campaigns, most recently a strange series featuring Bill Gates and comedian Jerry Seinfeld. This particular ad may leave a bad taste in your mouth, as well: After all, the company has been criticized for releasing top-heavy, bloated operating systems. A blog on the Computerworld website theorizes that "this could be one of its worst promotional ideas ever."

The site notes that the Windows 7 Whopper weighs in with about 1,000 calories.

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It's Business...It's Business Time!

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3 Minutes

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez told citizens Wednesday to limit their showers to three minutes because the country is having problems supplying water and electricity.

"Some people sing in the shower, in the shower half an hour," he said during a televised cabinet meeting. "No kids, three minutes is more than enough. I've counted, three minutes, and I don't stink."

Chavez said low rainfall caused by El Nino meant water levels were at critically low levels in the El Guri reservoir, one of the world's largest dams.

"If you are going to lie back, in the bath, with the soap and you turn on the what's it called, the Jacuzzi ... imagine that, what kind of communism is that? We're not in times of Jacuzzi," Chavez said.

He called on state-run organizations to immediately cut energy consumption by 20 percent and mentioned using airplanes to force rain from clouds.

The leader also said the government would publish a decree forbidding imports of low-efficiency electrical appliances.

North By Northwest

Two Northwest Airlines pilots who flew 150 miles past the Minneapolis airport and lost contact with ground control for more than an hour should have had several warnings that they were overshooting their destination.

The pilots should have been alerted by numerous signs that they were over Minneapolis and needed to bring the plane down for a landing: cockpit displays, repeated calls from air traffic controllers and twinkling city lights, to name a few.

Yet the pilots didn't discover their mistake Wednesday night until a flight attendant in the cabin contacted them by intercom, said a source close to the investigation. By that time, the plane was over Eau Claire, Wis., and the pilots had been out of communication with air traffic controllers for over an hour. Pilots turned the plane back around and landed safely an hour and 15 minutes late, around 9:15 p.m. Wednesday.

Federal aviation authorities are investigating whether the Northwest pilots of the jet with 144 passengers aboard fell asleep at the controls, causing them to lose radio contact and overshoot Twin Cities International Airport.

The crew told authorities they were distracted during a heated discussion over airline policy, the Federal Aviation Administration said.

The two black boxes were sent to Washington Friday for analysis. The pilots, whose names haven't been released, have been suspended from flying by the airline while it, too, investigates.

Several aviation experts have said they believe there is only one explanation for what happened.

"I think these guys fell asleep," Robert Mark, former airline pilot and editor of industry blog Jetwhine.com, told Fox News on Friday.

"The only reason we even heard from these guys is because the flight attendants banged on the door. If that hadn't happened — and thank God for the flight attendants — this could have been a much bigger disaster."

Passengers didn't know anything was wrong until police swarmed the aircraft after it had touched down. No one was injured.

The plane, en route from San Diego with a crew of five, passed over its destination of Minneapolis at 37,000 feet just before 9 p.m. EDT Wednesday.

Ice Capades

The director of a circus arena says an ice-skating bear turned on its trainers, killing one and seriously wounding another.

Kurmangazy Isanayev says workers dragged the trainers with a visiting Russian troupe away from the bear following Wednesday's attack, as they were rehearsing for a show in Bishkek.

The exits were then closed and rescue services called in.

Police say they shot the bear dead.

Naked Coffee

A Springfield man is facing indecent exposure charges after police say he stood naked inside his home as a 7-year-old boy and his mother walked by.

Twenty-nine-year-old Eric Williamson denies any wrongdoing and says any exposure was accidental.

"Yes, I wasn't wearing any clothes but I was alone, in my own home and just got out of bed. It was dark and I had no idea anyone was outside looking in at me," Williamson told MyFoxDC.com in his defense. "I'm a loving dad — any of my friends would tell you that," Williamson said. "There is not a chance on this planet I would ever, ever do anything like that to a kid."

But Fairfax County Police see it differently. Spokeswoman Mary Ann Jennings said the woman and her son first saw Williamson standing naked inside his doorway as they walked along a path outside his home. Police say Williamson then followed the two from inside his home and exposed himself again through a large front window.

Police would not pursue a case based on inadvertent exposure, Jennings said.

Thirsty?

Splitting Hairs

A Cleveland museum has learned that what it thought was a lock of hair from Amelia Earhart is just thread.

A group looking for DNA evidence of the pioneer aviator on a Pacific island recently asked the International Women's Air and Space Museum for a sample of the "hair" for comparison. Museum executive director Toni Mullee says an analysis determined the specimen was thread that looked like hair.

Mullee says the museum acquired the artifact 20 years ago from the Smithsonian Institution, which had gotten it from a Pennsylvania man. The museum has had it on exhibit next to a book with an anecdote about a White House maid who saved some Earhart hair from a wastebasket.

Mullee says the thread will stay on display, with a full explanation.

Not Fast Enough...

Police say an Idaho woman who made a false 911 call to lure paramedics out of their station made a real emergency call minutes later when she got trapped under the station's garage door.

Melissa R. Farris died Oct. 2 of injuries suffered when she was crushed by the closing garage door at the Canyon County station.

Farris, a former paramedic at the station, had been trying to crawl under the door after the ambulance left to respond to a nonexistent traffic accident she'd called in a few minutes earlier.

Caldwell Police Chief Chris Allgood says it may never be known why Farris was trying to gain access to the station

But according to a police report obtained by KBCI-TV, her sister told investigators that Farris may have been going after prescription medication stored in the station.

Goodnight, Irene!

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2 Turntables And A.....

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Let God Sort 'Em Out

Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan said the H1N1 flu vaccine was developed to kill people, UPI reported.

"The Earth can't take 6.5 billion people. We just can't feed that many. So what are you going to do? Kill as many as you can," Farrakhan reportedly said during an event in Memphis, Tenn. "We have to develop a science that kills them and makes it look as though they died from some disease."

The 76-year-old added that many wise people won't take the vaccine, according to UPI.

His comments were made during an event to observe the group's Holy Day of Atonement, and also marked the 14th anniversary of the Million Man March in Washington.

Ouch

Rihanna's new single is "Russian Roulette," from the album "Rated R."

On the front of "Russian Roulette" – which became available on rihannanow.com this morning – the Barbados-born beauty poses with barbed wire strategically wound like a ribbon around her breasts.

The 21-year-old chart-topper is definitely not playing the demure victim, after her much-publicized beatdown at the hands of then-boyfriend Chris Brown this year. In the cover photo, she seems to be saying, "I'm a survivor, I'm strong, I'm sexy – don't mess with me!"

As she announced last week in a tweet, the CD will hit stores on Monday, November 23. The video for "Russian Roulette" – which was written and produced by Ne-Yo – will "premiere in primetime on ABC." One can only surmise it'll be in conjunction with a long-form sitdown interview.

Belated R.I.P.

Captain Lou Albano

Three Cheers, John Parker. Three Cheers!

A 50-year-old Reno man has been arrested on suspicion of drunken driving for the third time in less than three weeks.

Reno Police Sgt. Tom Robinson says John Parker was stopped Monday afternoon on a U.S. Highway 395 off-ramp on the south end of town after a concerned citizen alerted police about his erratic driving.

He says a check of Parker's police record found he had been arrested on the same charge two other times since Oct. 2.

Robinson says officers contacted the city attorney, who contacted a Reno municipal court judge so Parker's bail would be raised to $25,000. The judge also ordered that it be paid in cash rather than the usual practice of posting a bond for 10 percent of the total pending a court hearing.

Phil Collins Can't Play Drums Anymore

Phil Collins is drumming no more, for now.

The former singer and drummer for Genesis told a German newspaper that since he had surgery in April to repair a dislocated vertebra in his neck, he doesn't have feeling in his fingers and isn't able to pick up his sticks.

The 58-year-old musician was quoted by Hamburger Abendblatt on Monday as saying the only way he could drum is if he were to "glue drumsticks to my hands."

But that's not stopped his recording aspirations. He told the newspaper he plans a new CD that will feature covers of 30 songs from the Motown label in 2010.

"I want the songs to sound exactly like the originals," the paper quoted him as saying.

Collins, who lives in Switzerland, was in Hamburg to celebrate the first anniversary of the debut of "Tarzan" the musical. The show features music Collins composed for the 1999 animated Disney film, including the Oscar-winning song "You'll Be in My Heart."

Furthermore...

Leeches And Stick Poking

A Tasmanian man is in jail after police used blood from a leech to make a DNA match from a 2001 robbery scene.

The Mercury newspaper reports Peter Alec Cannon, 54, pleaded guilty Monday to an aggravated armed robbery committed on September 28, 2001.

Crown prosecutor John Ransom told the Supreme Court that senior constable Nathan Slater had picked up a leech from near a safe at the scene of the crime.

A DNA sample was taken from the blood in the leech by Forensic Science Services Tasmania.

Seven years later when Cannon was charged with a drug crime and a DNA sample was taken from him, police came up with a match.

The court heard that Cannon and another man had robbed Fay Olson of $500 and poked her with sticks.

Don't Cry...

....we just won 4 in row!

Go Temple Owls!

That's Pratt-tastic

"The Hills" star Stephanie Pratt (seen here in a mugshot from 2006...) was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving in Hollywood early Sunday morning, the Los Angeles Police Department confirmed.

"It was your basic DUI. Our traffic officers driving down the street spotted her and pulled her over," Sgt. Sal Ogaz told PEOPLE. "She was cooperative and there were no issues with her arrest."

Police records show Pratt, 23, was arrested at 3:45 a.m., charged with a misdemeanor, and was transferred to the Van Nuys jail for booking, where she was released around 10:30 a.m.

Earlier in the evening, Pratt was at fellow cast member Holly Montag's birthday party at Empire, an L.A. nightclub.

At 11 p.m. she Tweeted: "its my sissy @hollymontags bday party! just finished dinner and going to Empire but im pretty tired aka yes i am the party pooper :("

Stephanie, the younger sister of Spencer Pratt, said last month that she'd like to leave the show after 10 episodes. "I don't know how much more I can take of 'The Hills' ... 'The Hills' is very brutal," she said.

The Actual Britney (from her stage mic)

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I Tried To Call You...

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Negative Nantzy

CBS sportscaster Jim Nantz, 50, who earns more than seven million dollars a year, is in divorce court to protect much of his fortune from wife of 26 years, Lorrie Nantz, the Connecticut Post reported.

Sitting on a makeshift stand before the court, Nantz grew teary as he testified, blaming the marriage's demise on his wife's lavish spending habits, as well as what he claimed was a lack of support for his career.

Nantz's wife, who is seeking alimony as well as more than $1.5 million-per-year in child support for the couple's 15-year-old daughter, Caroline, has stated that she wants to keep the family's six bedroom home in Westport, Conn. Lorrie Nantz said that she wants to care for the child's daughter even though she has a full-time nanny.

In nine years, Lorrie Nantz spent close to $1 million at a high-end clothing and jewelry store in Westport, Conn., the Post reported.

Last month she bought a $12,000 necklace at the posh store, but when pressed on its description, she could not remember details. "I think it has some sort of stone," Lorrie Nantz told the court, according to the Connecticut Post.

While testifying, Nantz admitted to having a 29-year-old girlfriend. He said he met the woman while promoting a book he wrote about his father in May, 2008, the Connecticut Post reported. Nantz only began the extramarital affair, he claimed, because his marriage "died," years ago, the Connecticut Post quoted him as saying to the court.

Baby Falls

Talk about a tough kid: A California toddler is alive after falling 30 feet from an apartment window and landing on concrete and rocks.

Contra Costa County Fire Capt. Charles Thomas says the 22-month-old boy was alert and crying after the three-story plunge Sunday in Antioch that left him with just a cut on his abdomen, a bruised lung and a bump on his head.

The boy appeared to have climbed onto furniture near an open window and fell after pushing against the screen.

One Lucky Baby

A six-month-old boy has miraculously survived a train slamming into his stroller after it rolled off an Australian railway platform.

A security video shows the boy's mother taking her hands off the stroller's handles and failing to notice as it slowly edged toward the tracks.

The mom suddenly spots the baby stroller picking up speed and she rushes with outstretched arms to try to save her young child, but the stroller tips over the edge of the platform and the baby slams onto the tracks head first.

Before the boy can be rescued, the train powers past, horrifying the mother and other waiting passengers.

The footage ends with the frantic mom and a man running up to the driver, who has just stopped the 250-ton vehicle. Australia's Herald Sun said the train ploughed into the stroller, dragging the child along beneath the train's front car.

But the boy was hauled from the tracks with little more than a bump on his head. Paramedic Jon Wright said the six-month-old just "needed a feed and a nap".

"Luckily, he was strapped into his pram at the time, which probably saved his life. I think the child's extremely lucky," the paramedic told the paper. "Fortunately the train was slowing as it pulled into the station."

Have You Seen Me?

Truckin'

New York state wants to crack down on truckers who rely on satellite devices to direct them onto faster but prohibited routes and end up crashing into overpasses that are too low for their rigs.

Gov. David Paterson (New Jersey!) on Wednesday proposed penalties including jail time and confiscation of trucks to come down on drivers who use GPS — global positioning systems — to take more hazardous routes and end up striking bridges.

"Most trucking companies rely on GPS services that are specifically for trucks and route them away from restricted roads," he said. "Most of our members also use dispatching and fleet management systems that direct and track the vehicles by truck GPS services."

GPS can direct truckers, many of them carrying hazardous material, to restricted roads with overpass clearances too low for the rigs. Hauling on restricted or residential routes also pounds the life out of roads because the trucks are over weight limits and clog traffic.

New York state alone has seen more than 1,400 bridge strikes in the past 15 years, including 46 so far this year in suburban Westchester County, testing many old bridges already in need of repair, said County Executive Andrew J. Spano. One bridge in his county was hit nine times this year.

The bill would increase penalties for illegally using parkways and require all large commercial trucks to use GPS devices that route them away from restricted roads. It would also stick trucking companies or their insurance carriers with the bill for repairs and cleanup after bridge strikes.