The Brady Bundchen

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady married supermodel Gisele Bundchen in a private ceremony Thursday in Santa Monica, Calif., according to multiple reports.

US Weekly first reported the news. The couple had a small gathering at their Brentwood, Calif., home following the ceremony, which mostly included family. The two had been dating since 2006.

Brady's 18-month-old son -- with ex-girlfriend and actress Bridget Moynahan -- attended the ceremony.

Bundchen, 28, wore a Dolce & Gabbana dress. Her three dogs wore matching Dolce & Gabbana floral lace collars, US Weekly reported.

Fatness Trainer

Before

Fitness trainer Paul James wanted to understand his overweight clients better, so he decided to pack on a few pounds himself.

Well, not just a few pounds. The once svelte 32-year-old has ballooned from 212 pounds to 263 pounds and says he won’t stop until he weighs 340 pounds.

The Australian has cut down on his daily exercise regimens and has even started drinking beer at night.

“It was difficult to relate to overweight gym members so I’m experiencing life as an overweight person,” James said.

In order to expand his waistline, James has been indulging on pasta, cream sauces, chocolate and carbohydrates.

James hopes to reach his target weight of 340 pounds by March and then eventually lose the weight by October to show his clients it can be done.

After

Holey War

The world's most pierced woman, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, has added to her collection with a 6,005th piercing, the U.K.'s Telegraph reported.

Elaine Davidson, of Edinburgh, Scotland, made the Guinness World Record official in 2000 when she had a mere 462 piercings — 192 of which were in her face.

Nine years later, the Brazilian-born nurse has thousands of piercings including more than 1,500 that she says are "internal."

Surprisingly, Davidson says she doesn't like getting pierced.

Photos: http://www.foxnews.com/photoessay/0,4644,5520,00.html

Seperated At Birth

In the German vernacular, "Doppelgänger" has come to refer to any double or look-alike of a person.

They are generally regarded as harbingers of bad luck.

In some traditions, a doppelgänger seen by a person's friends or relatives portends illness or danger, while seeing one's own doppelgänger is an omen of death.

In Norse mythology, a vardøger is a ghostly double who precedes a living person and is seen performing their actions in advance.

Old John Ballard

County leaders on Tuesday approved a resolution asking a federal agency to rename Negrohead Mountain near Malibu in honor of a black pioneer who settled in the area in the 19th century.

The peak would be known as Ballard Mountain, after John Ballard, if the U.S. Geological Survey's Board on Geographic Names grants the request by the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors.

The switch would "honor the man, as a man, for the contributions he made," said Supervisor Zev Yaroslavsky, who made the name-change motion.

The name of the mountain, at 2,031 feet the tallest in the area, originally contained a racial slur that even was found on early government topographic maps. It was changed to "negro" in the 1960s.

According to its Web site, the USGS does not encourage geographic name changes, but among its recognized classes of name changes are "those made to eliminate particular name problems as in cases involving derogatory names."

Ballard was a former Kentucky slave who came West around 1860 and died in 1905. He and his wife moved to Los Angeles, where he was a teamster and became prominent in the small but growing black community. He was part of a small group that founded Los Angeles' African Methodist Episcopal Church in 1869.

But in 1880, the Ballard family moved about 50 miles west to a valley in the Santa Monica Mountains near what is now the community of Seminole Hot Springs. By the turn of the century he and his daughter, one of his seven children, owned 320 acres obtained under the federal Homestead Act.

I Miss John Denver

Country roads, take me home

To the place I belong

West virginia, mountain momma

Take me home, country roads

Andy's Summer Job

Forklift Operator Has a Really Bad Day at Work | Viral | SPIKE.com

Meat Head Reunion

Art will imitate life when Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger spends a few hours playing himself later this year in a movie by Sylvester Stallone.

Stallone's publicist, Sheryl Main, revealed more details Tuesday of Schwarzenegger's rare big-screen appearance. The governor said he has done just three cameos for friends since becoming governor in 2003.

Shooting on the film, "The Expendables," will begin March 28 in Brazil and move to New Orleans for two months. Main says the governor will shoot his scene in Los Angeles.

His role will be a familiar one: California governor.

Stallone writes, directs and stars in the movie, a film about a group of mercenaries trying to overthrow a South American dictator. It also stars Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Mickey Rourke and Forest Whitaker.

Take a look: The Expendables

Who's Laughing At Who?

"Joaquin wanted this, of course he knew (about the parodies) because it’s all part of a very strategic plan," said our inside source. "He is selling it all as a documentary not about his musical career but the whole issue of public persona. It’s all a big joke and he’s not pursuing rapping seriously no matter what he says."

I Know, I Know...

Robin Wright Penn (see previous post) was also in The Princess Bride.

FMB Recommends

Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory

Sundays @ 9PM On MTV

Get in now - Get in fast

You will not be sorry.

Trust...it's what FMB is all about.

A Revelation (That You May Already Know)

Watching the Oscars, I realized that Sean Penn's wife is hot.

As you can see from the attached photos, she is.

But here is the kicker...

I just figured out who she is!

Wait for it.....wait for it....wait for it....

Jenny - from Forrest Gump!

*If nothing else, it's an interesting fact...

Fair Or Unfair?!?

Vanity Fair!

Welcome Home Melanie!

You did us all proud- now dish the dirt!

Go visit Mel's House

Hitler At His Bris

I don't want to see the Bar Mitzvah...

Theodore Wesley's House

In a twist to the U.S. housing crisis, a family that has been living in a home built inside a cave in suburban St. Louis has put it up for sale on eBay.

Bidding starts at $300,000.

Curt and Deborah Sleeper of Festus bought about 3 acres of property and a cave in Festus in 2004, after they spotted it on the Internet.

The couple built a three-bedroom home inside the one-time mining cave.

A large payment is due soon, and the Sleepers are trying to secure private financing. If they are able to, they may not sell. They're not accepting financial donations.

Their youngest child, Theodore Wesley, was born at their home over the weekend.

Come On Feel The Noise

Can he possibly defend his actions now...?

Curves Are "In"...

Hercules, the fat cat who became famous after getting stuck in a doggie door while plundering another pet's food, has found his rotund self heading for the big-time.

A video of Hercules stuck in the door became a Web sensation. Martha Stewart Living will feature him in an upcoming issue in an article about how to help pets lose weight, which Hercules has done, sort of.

But Hercules seems happiest with his owner, Geoff Earnest, who had given him up for lost. "I think he's one of the best things that has ever happened to me," Earnest said. "He's like a brother to me. I just love him to death."

Earnest walks Hercules for exercise every morning. Hercules has dropped about a pound but still weighs 19.6 pounds.

His veterinarian, Dr. Joshua Horner, says the cat could stand to drop three or four more. But to Earnest, he's fine the way he is. "He's just a big, big cat," he said. "I don't want to see him get any smaller."

Breaking News

Draft may net Eagles a talented receiver.

http://www.philly.com/philly/sports/eagles/40042587.html

Chuck Trainer, perhaps??!??!!?

Intellectual Skunk

The Allensville branch of the Mifflin County library has been closed since Feb. 10 because of the putrid smell from a skunk that may still be prowling among the stacks.

Library employees can't find the skunk or get rid of the odor. Menno Township has enlisted a professional trapper to find it.

Supervisor Harold Johnson Jr. doubts the skunk is in the building. Johnson believes it was outside near a ventilation unit, which would explain why the smell is evident both inside and outside the library.

Slummin'

It Is Written.

Oscar Time!

I Got Your Hare Blog, Right Here

Slow and Steady...TMW.

The Vodka Experience (That You'll Never Have...)

The vodka named for Jimi Hendrix will probably never be experienced by consumers after a judge ruled that the product infringes on his trademarks.

Experience Hendrix and Authentic Hendrix, which own and license Hendrix’s likeness and music, said in a statement that they had won a $3.2 million judgment against Craig Dieffenbach and his Electric Hendrix Spirits, maker of Hendrix Electric Vodka, right.

Electric Hendrix Spirits had described the liquor as inspired “by the innovative spirit of legendary musician Jimi Hendrix,” but the judge, Thomas S. Zilly of Federal District Court in western Washington State, prohibited the company from using Hendrix products for commercial purposes and ordered that the vodka and any related advertising be withdrawn.

Dinner Bird

A bird suspected to be extinct was reportedly photographed for the first time in the Philippines, and then sold to a poultry market as food.

Worcester's buttonquail was known only through illustrations based on decades-old museum specimens until a television crew documented the live bird in the market before it was sold in January, NationalGeographic.com reported.

Scientists had suspected the bird, found only on the island of Luzon, to be extinct, according to NationalGeographic.com.

Wild Bird Club of the Philippines President Michael Lu, told the Agence France-Press news agency that it’s unfortunate that the locals aren't more conscious of the threatened wildlife around them.

"What if this was the last of its species?" he said.

In Another Life

Don't look now...but The Mel Wire has turned into a HAIR BLOG!

For more from The Mel Wire and this week's guest editor:

www.themelwire.blogspot.com

Abort Obama?

The Oklahoma City Police Department admits one of its officers made a mistake in pulling over a man last week for carrying an anti-President Obama sign in his car.

According to The Oklahoman newspaper, an officer pulled over Chip Harrison last week because he had in his car a sign that said, "Abort Obama, not the unborn."

The officer confiscated the sign and handed Harrison a slip telling him he was under investigation, even though Harrison argued that the sign only meant he wanted Obama removed from office.

The officer thought Harrison was threatening to kill the president, according to the article. But the department later explained that the officer misinterpreted the sign.

That didn't stop Harrison from getting a visit from the Secret Service. They interviewed him at his house and determined he was not a threat to the president, according to the report.

The First Three Will Be...

(not drawn to scale)

American Idol welcomed Danny Gokie, Alexis Grace and Michael Sarva as the first three members of the coveted Top 12.

All The Right Moves...

6-Year-Old Soccer Phenom | Viral | SPIKE.com

Half Empty....Or Half Full?!?!

A Utah man took his newly acquired used SUV to a mechanic to find out why the gas gauge always read half-full.

The mechanic in Sandy looked inside the gas tank and found about 35 pounds of marijuana in plastic-wrap packages that filled about half of the tank's volume.

Police estimate the pot is worth about $35,000.

The Nissan Armada has had several different owners and was once a rental car.

Sandy police are trying to figure out who stashed the pot but say the current owner is not a suspect.

Investigators in the town south of Salt Lake City say the drug packs could have been in the tank for months.

A Monkey On Xanax

The desperate owner of a chimpanzee that went on a rampage in Stamford, Conn., pleaded with police over the phone to help her stop the animal from mauling her friend, telling them they had to "shoot him" when they arrived.

Police in Stamford released 911 tapes of Sandra Herold's frantic call to police Monday as her beloved 15-year-old, 200-pound chimp, Travis, was attacking 55-year-old Charla Nash.

The chimp can be heard grunting at times on the tape, as Herold cries, "He's killing my friend!"

The dispatcher says, "Who's killing your friend?"

Herold replies, "My chimpanzee! He ripped her apart! Shoot him, shoot him!"

After police arrive, one officer radios back: "There's a man down. He doesn't look good," he says, referring to the disfigured Nash. "We've got to get this guy out of here. He's got no face."

The chimp attacked Nash as Herold, 70, frantically stabbed her beloved pet with a butcher knife and pounded him with a shovel. She suffered "a tremendous loss of blood" from serious facial injuries, police said.

Police said that the chimp was agitated earlier Monday and that Herold had given him the anti-anxiety drug Xanax in some tea. Police said the drug had not been prescribed for the 14-year-old chimp.

Nash had gone to Herold's home in Stamford on Monday to help her coax the chimp back into the house after he got out, police said. After the animal lunged at Nash when she got out of her car, Herold ran inside to call 911 and returned with a knife.

After the initial attack, Travis ran away and started roaming Herold's property until police arrived, setting up security so medics could reach the critically injured woman, Conklin said.

But the chimpanzee returned and went after several of the officers, who retreated into their cars, Conklin said. An officer shot Travis several times after the animal opened the door to his cruiser and started to get in.

When he was younger, Travis starred in TV commercials for Old Navy and Coca-Cola, made an appearance on the "Maury Povich Show" and took part in a television pilot, according to a 2003 story in The Advocate newspaper of Stamford.

To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar

The people of FMB would like to thank their gracious hosts in NYC over the weekend...

THE JAFARS!

(Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins)

I'm Back...

BACK in the saddle...

and

BLACK in the saddle...

Friday on Conan....

ISLA FISHER, JONAS BROTHERS, DAN AUERBACH......

......and Glenn & Lisa!

Oh, Hell yes.

An Afternoon Meeting

Police say an Ohio fourth grade teacher charged with prostitution skipped class after using a school computer to arrange an afternoon tryst at a motel.

Logan County Sheriff's officials say 35-year-old Amber Carter was arrested Tuesday in a motel parking lot in Bellefontaine in central Ohio.

Police say Carter is charged with misdemeanor prostitution and a felony count of unauthorized use of property, regarding the computer.

Bellefontaine City Schools Superintendent Larry Anderson says school officials are shocked. He says Carter has worked for the district for 13 years and has never received a reprimand.

She has been placed on administrative leave.

I Like The First One..

Nearest. Miss. Ever. | Wheels | SPIKE.com

Full Blown Second Base

A $15 million lawsuit claims former Major League Baseball star Roberto Alomar had unprotected sex with a former girlfriend while he had AIDS, the New York Post reported.

Ilya Dall, of Queens, alleges in the suit filed in Brooklyn Federal Court that the 12-time All Star tested positive for HIV in 2006 and was later informed by a doctor that he had full-blown AIDS.

Dall, who says she tested negative for the disease, is claiming punitive damages for emotional distress, the Post reported.

Alomar, 41, who retired from baseball in 2005, began dating Dall in 2002, according to the suit, and began having unprotected sex with her a short time later, the Post reported.

Alomar told Dall in 2005 that he was once raped by two Mexican men after playing a ballgame in New Mexico, according to the lawsuit.

Alomar, who played the majority of his 17 seasons with seven teams at second base, is a 10-time Gold Glove winner and is widely considered to be one of the best second basemen in MLB history.

$10 Stockings

A Fresno antiques dealer has hit a home run with the sale of a rare baseball card she thought was worth only $10.

Bernice Gallego ended up selling the 1869 Cincinnati Red Stockings team card on an online auction site for $64,073. That's more than double the previous record set for an identical card. The Cincinnati Red Stockings is the first professional team in the U.S.

Gallego didn't know what she had when she originally listed the card on eBay for $10. After numerous e-mails asking if it was real, she pulled the card. Only a handful of them exist.

The front of the card features a sepia-toned, gelatin-silver photographic print of the entire team. On the reverse is a red-and-white advertisement for Peck & Snyder, a New York sports equipment manufacturer.

Gallego enjoyed national media attention and appeared on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" after finding the card in a box of junk.

Octo-Mom Or Pyscho?

Daft

Daft Punk D-Pad Hero | Viral | SPIKE.com

Smell Ya Later

For the last two weekends, Will Smith’s latest film, Seven Pounds didn't even register among the 30 top-grossing films, leaving its domestic take stuck just shy of $70 million.

Pretty good for a film whose title and advertising left fans perplexed.

But a major downer for the former Philly rapper.

Smith had headlined eight straight films that grossed $100 million - an unprecedented streak, according to several industry sources.

Most of Smith's blockbusters were unabashed actioners: Men in Black II (2002), Bad Boys II (2003), I, Robot (2004), I Am Legend (2007) and Hancock (2008).

But he also swam into less-charted waters with a lead voiceover role in the animated Shark Tale (2004), the romantic comedy Hitch (2005), and the heart-tugging father-and-son saga The Pursuit of Happyness (2006).

The "Milkman"

A British prosecutor says an elderly milkman supplied customers with cannabis as well as bottles of milk.

Robert Holding, 72, delivered marijuana as he made his daily rounds in the town of Burnely, in northwestern England.

Prosecutor Sarah Statham said Friday that Holding offered the drug to elderly customers suffering from aches and pain. She says the customers left Holding notes on their doorsteps to order the drug.

According to Britain's dairy industry, around 1.5 million British homes have milk delivered by a milkman. Deliveries have declined over the last 20 years.

Holding pleaded guilty to supplying the drug and was given suspended jail sentence of 36 months.

Kitchen Borrowing

Police in Peoria say a local man returned to his home to find someone had broken in, but nothing was missing — except a $6 steak that he had left out to thaw.

Officers say someone broke a window to enter the home some time Saturday afternoon or evening.

The resident discovered the broken window when he returned home Saturday night. After searching the house for any missing items, he went into his kitchen and found it in a mess.

There were dirty dishes in the sink, a dirty skillet on the stove, and used paper towels on the counter. The steak was gone, and police believe the intruder had cooked and eaten it.

A-'Roid?