Looks Like We Made It

I would like to use this “100th” post in May to take the time to thank all the Fingers out there. Without you, I would just be a useless palm with no digits. Together – we are a HAND…a HAND that can bitch-slap anyone, at any time.

If you Fingered me in May, or you’ve had your Finger in me from the very beginning….I OWE YOU. I Thank You.

Let’s celebrate the milestone together….hop in the water plug, just for old time’s sake?!?!

You can never FingerMyBlog too much, but should you get sore…

…stick it in a Frosty.

Drums Please...

It's hot out. So here's a groove slightly transformed...just a bit of a break from the norm.

Since you can't "Be Here Now"....I'll keep you informed.

Oasis' next album has been hinted at by Noel. In April 2007 issue of NME he claimed "The next one in theory is already fucking written. I've got eight songs that I'm pretty happy with. I think Liam's got one or two that he thinks are brilliant. We're waiting for Gem and Andy. It's just a case of sitting down and saying, 'When do we want to do this?'".

He also claimed on Soccer AM on May 18th, that he had recently written "a couple of belters". Recording sessions for new material however will not commence until August 2007 at the earliest, due to the absence of Zak Starkey, who is touring with The Who until July 2007.

Noel also said to NME that he is working on a solo album, which however was quickly dismissed by the band's official site, a couple of days later. Noel also seemed to dismiss this during a guest appearance on Sky Sports' Soccer AM show, saying it's something he likes to say every so often in order to "Wind up Liam”.

The Big Donor Show

A Dutch reality show that claims to be trying to draw attention to a shortage of organ donors said it would go ahead with a program in which a terminally ill woman will choose a contestant to receive one of her kidneys.

The program, "Big Donor Show," has been attacked as unethical and tasteless. One member of the Dutch parliament suggested the government should block Friday's broadcast.

"We know that this program is super controversial and some people will think it's tasteless, but we think the reality is even more shocking and tasteless: waiting for an organ is just like playing the lottery," Laurens Drillich, chairman of the BNN network, said in a statement.

The network identified the donor as "Lisa," a 37-year-old woman with an inoperable brain tumor. During the show, she will hear interviews with the three candidates, their families and friends before choosing who will get her kidney.

Viewers will be able to vote for the candidate they feel is most deserving via SMS text message, but "Lisa will determine who the happy one is," BNN said in a statement.

My Hands Are Bananas

Do you know VY? I'll tell you VY!

On May 31, 1930.....

This punk was born.

Feelin' Lucky?

He's so badass that he Fingers with his Smith and Wesson Model 29.

Too Late, Bro

An Indian zoologist said he has found a new species of limbless lizard in a forested area in the country's east.

Preliminary scientific study reveals that we started calling these “limbless lizards” snakes many years ago.

Back to the drawing board…

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2007/05/29/limblesslizard_ani.html?category=animals&guid=20070529090000&dcitc=w19-502-ak-0000

Ted Striker?

Mike Figgis, who directed "Leaving Las Vegas," was reportedly held for over five hours at Los Angeles International airport after he told immigration officers "I'm here to shoot a pilot," according to authorities.

In television, the first episode of a potential television show is called a pilot. However, the agents, apparently not in-the-know with industry terms, took it to mean Figgis had plans to gun down an airline pilot.

Figgis was then held in an interrogation cell for five hours, and was released after officers figured out he had no assassination plans.

The Countdown Begins...

A Bank of America employee misinterpreted a faulty fax about a bank promotion as a bomb threat Wednesday, leading authorities to evacuate more than a dozen neighboring businesses.

The fax from a marketing group sending information about a Bank of American small business promotion contained images of a lighted match and a bomb with a fuse, bank spokesman Ernesto Anguilla said.

But words explaining the promotion did not transmit. "The fax machine malfunctioned, so a partial image came through that looked somewhat suspicious," Anguilla said.

The bank's Ashland branch manager called police about 10 a.m. after receiving the fax. Fears also arose because the branch received a suspicious package delivered by a customer around the same time, police said.

Damn Cheating Cheetahs

For female cheetahs in the Serengeti, the call of the wild is just too hard to resist as new research shows nearly half of their litters are made up of cubs with different fathers.

"Mating with more than one male poses a serious threat to females, increasing the risk of exposure to parasites and diseases," said Dada Gottelli, ZSL's lead scientist for the research.

"Females also have to travel over large distances to find new males, making them more vulnerable to predation, so infidelity is a heavy burden."

Cheetahs are a threatened species, so this is good news for conservation. The genetic diversity of future generations of cheetah will be preserved by their slutty behavior.

Like Toy Soldiers...

...we all fall down.

Paradise By The Dashboard Light?

Yankees superstar Alex Rodriguez stepped up to the plate with a mysterious, busty blonde in Toronto, as these intimate, exclusive photos reveal.

The cozy duo dined with two pals at a pricey steakhouse late Sunday night, then headed to a glitzy strip club before making their way to his hotel, where the pair ducked into an elevator and headed upstairs just after midnight.

Cynthia Rodriguez - A-Rod's wife and mother of their 2 1/2-year-old daughter, Natasha - was nowhere to be seen.

Iron Mike

I think I can beat Mike Tyson....if I still had this game.

Feeling Saucy?

One of the best things around. Know you sauces.

http://www.clearfour.com/condiment/

Some Like It Hot

Police said the customer got into a verbal dispute with a Wendy’s cashier around 12:20 a.m. Tuesday.

According to Miami-Dade police, as the customer picked up his meal, he told the cashier he wanted extra chili sauce. When he didn't get the sauce right away, he began arguing with the cashier, said police. The customer then told the cashier he wanted 10 packets of the sauce. Although the cashier told him restaurant police prohibits a customer from getting more than three packets, but the female cashier complied.

According to police, the man continued to argue. He was told to pull up so that the manager could speak with him, witnesses said.
"The manager came out to inform him of company policy, and he shot at (the manager) several times," said the Miami-Dade police.

There is no word on if the man got his chili sauce or if the chili sauce was wounded in any way.

Split Decision

Rosie O’Donnell left The View not so much over the spat she had with Elisabeth (allegedly Rosie is quite found of her, wink-wink!), but over a producer's decision to maximize the show's ratings by going to a split-screen shot of the Rosie and Elisabeth face off without Rosie's permission or knowledge.

"Rosie's a big girl [literally] and her feelings are not easily hurt," said Rosie's agent. "So she was not surprised to find out that her excited outspokenness was exploited to boost ratings for The View with a cheep shot split-screen. But she was not prepared for it. They should have gotten her ready."

The controversial split-screen used by The View can be seen below…

JFK. Blown Away.

J.F.K. - would have been 90 years old today....


...but we'll just keep that celebration to ourselves, in our minds, in our hearts. Just stick it back and to the left of your brain. Back and to the left of your heart. Back and to the left.

Wild Hogs? Hogzilla? Jerry's Taxidermy?

Although Wild Hogs is still clinging to the 10th spot (can you believe that shit?!?)…that’s not what I’m talking about.

An 11-year-old boy used a pistol to kill a wild hog his father says weighed a staggering 1,051 pounds and measured 9 feet 4, from the tip of its snout to the base of its tail. Think hams as big as car tires.

If the claims are accurate, Jamison Stone's trophy boar would be bigger than Hogzilla, the famed wild hog that grew to seemingly mythical proportions after being killed in south Georgia in 2004. Hogzilla originally was thought to weigh 1,000 pounds and measure 12 feet long.

"It feels really good," Jamison said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. "It's a good accomplishment. I probably won't ever kill anything else that big."

He said he shot the huge animal eight times with a .50-caliber revolver and chased it for three hours through hilly woods before finishing it off with a point-blank shot.

With the animal finally dead in a creek bed on the 2,500-acre Lost Creek Plantation, a commercial hunting preserve in Delta, trees had to be cut down and a backhoe brought in to bring Jamison's prize out of the woods.

The hog's head is being mounted by Jerry Cunningham of Jerry's Taxidermy. Mike Stone is having sausage made from the rest of the animal. "We'll probably get 500 to 700 pounds," he said.

Just in time for the 4th of July....who doesn't love sausage?

Ranch Hand?

A judge has ordered a 17-year-old to pay a $750 fine and perform 120 hours of community service for contaminating salad dressing with semen and returning it to a suburban Chicago high school's cafeteria.

DuPage County Judge Terence Sheen also placed Marco Castro on two years probation Wednesday and ordered him to write a letter of apology to Wheaton North High School officials. Castro must complete his community service work for an agency that works with AIDS patients. He admitted taking a bottle of ranch salad dressing from the school cafeteria to the bathroom and ejaculating into it, and then returning it to the cafeteria where juniors and seniors eat lunch.

Castro told police he thought of the prank after watching a movie filled with crude stunts. "I have no explanation for what I did," Castro said in court. "I felt great while doing it, but I felt bad after I did it."

"FINGER ME TO FREEDOM!"

Over the weekend there were several attempts to cross the border into our great land.

Early reports indicate that the “Blue Digit Plague” is spreading across Mexico as people continue to Finger imposters of FingerMyBlog. In search for a cure, (The One True FingerMyBlog), crazed Fingerers have resorted to desperate measures, in order to “finger” more reliable sources.

Because

The Beatles - Because - The Love Version

Urban Ninja

13 million views can't be wrong...

Beautiful Destruction

A little boy spotted a pretty pile of colored sand on the floor of the vast hall and couldn't resist. Slipping under a protective rope, he danced all over the sand, ruining the carefully crafted picture.

Never mind that it was the creation of eight Tibetan monks who had spent two days cross-legged on the floor of Union Station, meticulously pouring the sand into an intricate design as an expression of their Buddhist faith.

They were more than halfway done with the design , called a mandala , on Tuesday when they ended their work for the day and left. The little boy showed up sometime later with his mother, who was taking a package to a post office in the hall.

"He did a little tap dance on it, completely destroying it," said Lama Chuck Stanford, of the Rime Buddhist Center in Kansas City.

"No problem," said the Drepung Gomang Monastery.

Do You Really Need Bones In Your Face?

...this guy doesn't.

Snakes On A Plane

Customs officers at Cairo's airport have detained a man bound for Saudi Arabia who was trying to smuggle 700 live snakes on a plane, airport authorities said.

Yahia Rahim Tulba opened his bag to show the snakes to the police and asked the officers, who held a safe distance, not to come close. Among the various snakes, hidden in small cloth sacks, were two poisonous cobras, authorities said.

The Egyptian said he had hoped to sell the snakes in Saudi Arabia, where the snakes are wanted by Saudis who display them in glass jars in shops, keep them as pets or sell them to research centers.

The value of the snakes was not immediately known.

Jordin Wins! Charlie Dies!

But what about Cody Matherson?!?

You Decide...

A True Fan

Robert Comer was a convicted murderer, rapist and kidnapper who was executed yesterday, so this isn't exactly a lighthearted story. But it is the second time this year that a condemned man has expressed his loyalty to his favorite football team just before he was executed.

Comer was put to death by lethal injection, and the last words he spoke were "Go Raiders!"

The reporters who witnessed the execution wrote that "with that, his smile slowly faded until he passed out."

Davis, although old and decrepit, says he still Fingers at least 4 times a day.

Do You Know How Fast You Were Going?

A porn star claims a Tennessee State Trooper who stopped her on a highway let drug charges slide in exchange for oral sex.

On her blog Justis Richert, written under the name "Barbie Cummings," goes into explicit detail about the encounter. She says she has photos and video footage of the encounter sent to her by the trooper, as well as a speeding ticket, to back up her story.

Cummings wrote that when the officer asked her if she had drugs in the car, she admitted to having some "happy pills." "I sometimes have these pills as I may take one or two before going to a club," Cummings wrote in an entry dated May 7.

When the officer told her a drug charge would mean she could not leave the state, Cummings replied that would be a problem because she frequently travels from Tennessee to Los Angeles for her work.

"I tell him I make dirty movies," Cummings wrote. "He says he wished he had gotten into that industry."

The pair then watched sex videos from her Web site using Moss' laptop computer in his patrol car, she wrote. He took the pills and scattered them in the brush beside the highway."Then he asks me, what does it cost for someone like me to get anything like you," she wrote.

She describes performing oral sex on the officer outside his car in a secluded area. Photos that appear to be video stills she said he took during the incident and posted on her blog show her face but nothing that identifies the man as a trooper.

Oh-No!.....Oh-Yes!

Two-time Olympic gold medalist Apolo Anton Ohno earned a new title Tuesday: "Dancing With the Stars" champion.

More importantly, his 18 year old partner earned the title: "Most Lusted After (by millions of middle-aged men that are well past their prime)".

Fucking, Austria

Fucking, is a village (pop. 93) in the western region of Upper Austria, bordering Bavaria.

The village is known to have existed as “Fucking” since at least 1070 and is named after a man from the 6th century called Focko. “Ing” is an old Germanic suffix meaning “people”; thus Fucking, in this case, means “place of Focko’s people”.

The settlement’s most famous feature is a traffic sign with its name on it, beside which English-speaking tourists often stop to have their photograph taken. It is a commonly stolen street sign. Significant amounts of public funds are spent on replacing the stolen signs. In August 2005 the road signs were replaced with theft-proof signs welded to steel and secured in concrete to make the signs harder to take.

In 2004, due to the stolen signs and embarrassment over the name, a vote was held on changing the name, but the town's residents voted against doing so.

Ode To Zach Braff

Best Actor Ever Created?

Chaos

Come to Lebanon....We're still your friends.

FORE!

May 21, 2007 - An arrow pierced the window of kitchen in Manayunk on Monday night.

It happened in 400 block of Seville Street around 5:30 p.m. No one was injured.

Police said the woman who lives there had just stepped out of the kitchen when the arrow hit the window.

Investigators said a neighbor practicing with a crossbow will be charged with criminal mischief.

Throw Mama From The Train

Train Kills Man Trying to Kill Woman

A man trying to kill his girlfriend by stopping a car in front of an approaching train was himself killed Monday when the train hit the vehicle and launched it into him as he tried to flee, police said.

The girlfriend survived.

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/weird_news/20070521_ap_trainkillsmantryingtokillwoman.html

Killer Queen

I still watch SNL (thank god for DVR) even though it gets worse and worse with every Fred Armisen skit. But this weekend provided me with great insight into the future….

Adam Levine of Maroon 5...











...Is the Freddie Mercury of our generation!

I see a little silhouetto of a man,

Scaramouche,scaramouche will you do the fandango-

Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me-

Galileo - galileo

Galileo - galileo

Galileo figaro – magnifico -

Hot Monkey Fever

A Denver Zoo monkey has died of bubonic plague, apparently after eating a squirrel stricken with the disease, Colorado health and zoo officials said Monday.

Five squirrels and a rabbit found dead on zoo grounds tested positive for the flea-borne disease in recent weeks, Denver Zoo spokeswoman Ana Bowie said.

Zookeepers May 15 noticed the 8-year-old hooded capuchin monkey was lethargic, and the next day it was found dead in its enclosure. Zoo veterinarians sent tissue samples to a state laboratory where it was determined the animal died of the plague. The death was announced Monday.

Zoo veterinarian Dave Kenny said that the risk of plague spreading to humans was extremely low but that visitors were being urged to avoid squirrels and rabbits.

Trump, Dumped.

Donald Trump, whose low-rated reality show "The Apprentice" was left off the new prime-time schedule unveiled this week by NBC...

...says the network can't fire him -- he quits.

That should give him more time to FingerMyBlog, although he already Fingers 3, 4, 5 times a day.

Bombs Away!

I haven’t liked Lebanon this much:

Since Brown Bag Lunches…

Lebanon bologna is a type of semi-dry sausage similar in appearance and texture to salami, although it is somewhat darker colored. Made from salted beef, it has a distinctive smoky taste, owing to the smoking process by which it is cured. It is additionally aged for at least 10 days, which generally overlaps with the smoking. Originating with the Pennsylvania Dutch, it is commonly available in south-central Pennsylvania, where it is often served as a luncheon meat.

Suck On This

It's a dog's life for three newborn tiger triplets in eastern China. The cubs, whom officials at the Jinan Paomaling Wild Animal World in Shandong province are so far just calling "One," "Two" and "Three," have been nursed by a dog since they were rejected by their tiger mother shortly after birth, said Paomaling manager Chen Yucai.

The trio's adoptive mother, a mixed breed farm dog called "Huani," is expected to nurse them for about a month or until their appetites outpace her supply, Chen said.

Chen said it is common for Chinese zoos to use surrogate dog mothers to nurse rejected tiger cubs and that Huani has nursed tigers before.

In the past, Paomaling put dog urine on their rejected cub's fur to make the surrogate think she was nursing one of her own puppies but the zoo didn't bother with Huani because she seemed not to mind nursing the tigers, he said.

"The family is getting along well and seems to enjoy each other," Chen said.

Misheard Lyrics

Wrapped up like a deuce, another roller in the night. Throw up blah blah blah in the middle of the night. Revved up like a dude, she ain't no rover in the night. Cut loose like a goose from the spirit of the night. Wrapped up like a deuce, a holy roller in the night. Rapping like the duke, you know, the rumor in the night. Wake up like a dachshund in the middle of the night.

Go-rilla, Go!

"I saw the beast running through the park with a woman behind him, him grabbing her forearm," De Jonge said.

At a distance of around 30 yards, he saw the gorilla lie down near the woman and then heard her scream. “He bit her, or I think he bit her, because when he stood up his mouth was covered in blood," De Jonge said. He said he then stopped to tell arriving police what had happened and ran with them as they traced the gorilla to a nearby restaurant terrace.

The zoo was packed with visitors as many Dutch took advantage of a national holiday Thursday to make a long weekend. "Everyone was in panic, running away, screaming, wailing, screaming kids running around, I don't know what all, kids without parents -- it was a total drama," De Jonge said. Children cowered in their parents' arms as the gorilla loped past.

People tried to hide inside the restaurant and were trying to bar the door, but fled as the gorilla approached, De Jonge said. Bokito then punched through the glass door and ran inside.

"They were all in panic -- the animal, too, I mean -- and all the people ran outside the restaurant, and zoo personnel were running up and they were able to keep the animal inside by barricading the doors with garden furniture and things," he said.

De Jonge said he later saw the woman "covered in blood," but walking unaided.

Wedding Bells

Cheeseman's Uncle Ron is getting married this weekend...if it's half as good as this, it'll be the best time of his life.

Cheeseman just wanted a nice, quiet wedding. Instead, he got...

Booty!

Deep-sea explorers said Friday they have mined what could be the richest shipwreck treasure in history, bringing home 17 tons of colonial-era silver and gold coins from an undisclosed site in the Atlantic Ocean. Estimated value: $500 million.

A jet chartered by Tampa-based Odyssey Marine Exploration landed in the United States recently with hundreds of plastic containers brimming with coins raised from the ocean floor, Odyssey co-chairman Greg Stemm said. The more than 500,000 pieces are expected to fetch an average of $1,000 each from collectors and investors.

"For this colonial era, I think (the find) is unprecedented," said rare coin expert Nick Bruyer, who examined a batch of coins from the wreck. "I don't know of anything equal or comparable to it."

Citing security concerns, the company declined to release any details about the ship or the wreck site Friday. Stemm said a formal announcement will come later, but court records indicate the coins might come from a 400-year-old ship found off England.

White Shadow

Like a molten thread of white heat, lightning cuts across the grey skies above midtown Manhattan to find the top of the Empire State Building.

The storm yesterday afternoon was part of the latest blast of bad weather to hit New York.

The murky skies and lightning, seen from across the East River in this dramatic picture, were accompaniedby 72mph winds and a deluge which saw an inch of rain fall in nearby Central Park.

Kids Do The Darndest Things!

Look Out! Ooopah!

Ever See That Movie 'Thirteen'?

Jeffrey Anderson, 23, of Tohickon Middle School in Bucks County, was arrested last week and charged with crimes including involuntary deviate sexual intercourse, aggravated indecent assault, and criminal use of communications devices. According to court records, Anderson admitted that he kissed, fondled and digitally penetrated the girls, age 15 and 14, inside the 15-year-old's house on a recent Saturday afternoon. He also engaged in oral sex with the younger girl during the April 30 meeting, the records say.

The girls' parents recently confronted their daughters after learning their daughters had been communicating with Anderson by computer instant messaging and through Facebook.com personal Web sites, a probable cause affidavit said.

Both girls had been in Anderson's class, and had been messaging him outside of school for about a month. In some exchanges, Anderson told the girls he wanted to have sex with them, the affidavit says, and recently met with them in a Tohickon classroom and kissed them.

In an April 22 Facebook posting, Anderson pleaded with the girls to keep things quiet, "PLEASE . . . nothing that is said or done between the three of us can EVER be repeated to anyone else!!!" the message said. "Not your best friend, your diary, or any of those girls at school!! I could get fired, never become a teacher again. or go to jail. . ." Five days later, Anderson allegedly added: "Hah . . . im so going to hell . . . I can't believe I hooked up with two 9th graders!!"

On Saturday, April 29, the affidavit says, Anderson was text-messaging the girls on his cell phone when he learned that the 15-year-old's parents would be away for the day. At about 4 p.m. he parked his vehicle down the block from the girl's house and met both girls inside, where they engaged in sexual acts.

Lord of the Rings

All You Need To Know

Headline On Cnn Today

Boy, 3, dumped in baby drop box

Is that like a litter box for children?

*****

***

*

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/05/16/baby.drop.ap/index.html

They Die In 3's...

1. Jerry Falwell (more like fall horribly)
2. Yolanda King (..for a day, dead for a lifetime.)

So who is next????

Sinbad!?!?!

Storybook Ending

CBS cancels 'Jericho'

CBS canceled the nuclear apocalypse drama, "Jericho," on Wednesday, another sign that television networks are shying away from serial dramas after overloading on them last season.

Awesome.

No Holds Barred

Meaning: Without restrictions or rules.

The holds here are wrestling holds and that's where the phrase originates. There are sets of rules for each of the various styles of wrestling. Prior to the formation of rules, wrestling was a free-form affair. There was no need to mention any such phrase as no holds barred, as that was taken for granted. It wasn't until after the sport became regulated that bouts where those rules didn't apply were billed as such.

The earliest reference I can find to ‘no holds barred’ is from Manitoba Daily Free Press, February 1892: "Wm. Gibbs, the Kansas man, and Dennis Gallacher, of Buffalo, engaged in a wrestling match at the opera house here tonight. Gibbs was strangled into insensibility and may die. The conditions of the match were best two in three falls Greco-Roman style; no holds barred."

Last but not least…

Chris Rossi. Wasted.

He is obviously not savoring that burger. Wendy's was made to be enjoyed, not crammed in your mouth after a few too many PBR's.

Whore-mones?

Aging Hollywood actor Sylvester Stallone pleaded guilty Tuesday to bringing vials of a restricted muscle-building hormone into Australia.

Since his sex change, he needs the hormones to keep his girlish figure…